Nature Porn! 20 Famous Penis Rocks, Vagina Caves and Breast Mountains

Man is obsessed with phallic and yonic imagery (thats the female version of a phallus for everyone who doesnt watch Lifetime).

Just take a look at the penis cemetery in Iran.  Or the Washington Monument.  And did you know that some scientists think Stonehenge was a fertility symbol?  From overhead it does kind of look like a mans unit inside a womans squish mitten.

But its not just mankind thats all into sexual imagery.  There are phallic and yonic symbols all over the world that were created by nature.

Consider mountains.  Mountains already look like giant breasts.  Theres even a set of twin peaks in Wyoming called Grand Teton, which means big tits in French.

But there are a few mountains that look exceptionally human.  Like Rodinga, in central Australia

If that was on a human, that would be an exceptional breast.  Good lift, nice roundness.  But the cherry on top is, well, the cherry on top.  Theres no denying that that mountain has a nipple.  And evidently its a little cold.

But apparently not as cold as Bakersfield, Texas, where the Squaw Teat Mountain continues to arouse drivers on the I-10.

However, its called Boob Mountain, not Boobs Mountains, for a reason: theres only one boob.  Thats only half the package.  Everyone knows breasts are only successful in pairs.  Fortunately, nature didnt forget about that.  But in a mean stroke of irony, nature decided to put the only pair of boob mountains in a country where the women arent renowned for their cup size China.

Today, people call this stunningly realistic set of hooters the Big Breast Mountains, but since our ancestors werent as perverted, they named them Shuangru Peak (despite the fact that the plural peaks seems more appropriate).  Theyere located in Zhenfeng County in Chinas Guizhou Province, and couples that are soon to be married come from all over the country to worship at the foot of these mountainous mammaries, believing it will bring goodness and prosperity (if only real ones were capable of doing the same).

Look, wed like to think that Mother Nature is delicate and classy, but clearly thats not the case when shes flashing her junk all over the earth.  First it was the chest, and now were delving below the waist.

Forget Girls Gone Wild.  This is nature gone wild.

This beaver shot was taken just outside of St. Catherine, Jamaica, where the locals call this vaginal rock formation the Pum Pum Rock pum pum being slang for that other P-word we call cats and scared people.  As in, Dont be a pum pum, mon, just stick yo head in da Pum Pum Rock.

Heres nature again advertising her wares at the Alderman Islands in New Zealand

And here she is flashing the nani in Boulder Park, California

Since nature has clearly abandoned modesty, its time to update her look for the sexually enlightened 21st century.  Thats why someone gave the McCarren Park Vagina Tree in Brooklyn a little ornamentation.

As weve seen, Mother Nature has a bangin body.  But lets not forget that shes a hermaphrodite.

Yeah, its kinda freaky, but in order to represent all living things on this planet, it was necessary for her to showcase both male and female genitalia.

Thats why we find phallic rock formations all over the world.  Rocks, like penises, come in many different colors, shapes and sizes.

For instance, theres this flaccid tally whacker in Carefree, Arizona that has been crudely named **** Rock.

Then theres the Phallic Rock in Molokai, Hawaii.  We kid you not, legend has it that a woman who spends the night with this rock will become pregnant.  So that explains the white splotches.

Some women might consider Phallic Rock lacking in the size department, although it does seem to have admirable girth.  Dont worry, the penis rock at Kodachrome Basin State Park in Utah is packing enough heat to make up for the shortcomings of Phallic Rock.

Unlike some other phallic rocks, this one comes complete with all the necessary bits and pieces.  Even though the park has 60 of these sand pipes, which are found nowhere else on the planet, this particular one has been nicknamed Big Stoney for obvious reasons its stone, duh!

If one aint enough, theres always this

Dick measuring contest in progress.

Yeah, its kinda pointy and stabby at the tip, but you gotta respect the work nature did with that circumcision.  These bad boys are located in the appropriately named Love Valley in Cappadocia, Turkey.  The scenery is breathtaking (perhaps even intimidating to some men), but theres no doubt that this is the biggest stone sausage fest in the world.

Clearly, nature has done a whoreish job of spreading her naughty bits all over the world.  But whats really strange is that in a few locations, there are rock formations in the shape of male AND female genitalia side by side.  The odds of that happening are way too high for this not to be deliberate.

Check this out: in Sagada, Philippines, theres a cave system that has a vagina rock called Queens Vagina

right next to a penis rock named Kings Penis.

Same thing in Arches National Park in Utah.  Theres a phallic rock formation so close to a yonic rock formation that if they werent inanimate, they would totally be boning right now.

If you thought that was graphic, wait until you see this.  The Grandmother Rock (Hin Yai) and Grandfather Rock (Hin Ta) on Koh Samui island in Thailand are the most famous penis rock and vagina rock displays in the world.  And when you see this, youll know why so many couples go on honeymoon here it sets the mood

Nature just went from sexy to nasty.  If anyone is looking over your shoulder right now, theyre probably judging you.  But just tell them that theres a legit reason why that vagina rock appears to be in a post-coital state of sloppiness.  Its because when the waves crash against the rock, the white foam from the ocean water collects in the crevice.  Okay, with that graphic description, theyre probably still judging you, but at least you have a reasonable explanation for why that looks so naughty.

Oh, but were not done with sexual landscapes.  This foray into erotic earth exhibits continues in Guangdong, China, where the Danxia Mountain is yet another place where we find rock formations in the shape of male and female genitalia close to one another.  This is Elder Peak

and just below that is Mother Stone.

Wow, that is accurate.  Disturbingly accurate.  Which seems to make these ladies proud:

We dont know why nature insisted on putting penis and vagina rock formations dangerously close to each close, because THIS is the inevitable result

Hot damn, that is some hardcore, uncensored nature porn right there.  Thank goodness nature was decent enough to keep this graphic sex display underground in Langs Cave in Gunung Mulu National Park in Borneo (supposedly their tagline is: Borneo, Where Nature Will Make You Horneo).

We understand if you got turned on by that image, but it would be weird to act on it.  So keep your hands on the keyboard and tell us if youve ever seen naughty phallic symbols in nature.