IN 2000, Shaggy released the hit song It Wasn't Me, which featured a man who denied his guilt even after being caught by his girlfriend in a sexual act with another woman. This resulted in many persons using the line and other ingenious ones when caught in similar situations.

Like what happened with Ian S, a Kingston cable technician.

Caught locked up with another woman in his house one day by his girlfriend who was supposed to be in the country, Ian said he stayed inside with the other woman for hours and concocted a story, while his girlfriend banged on the louvres, waking all the neighbours.

"It's a studio, so there is only one entrance and exit," Ian said. "The windows are metal louvres so there was no space for the other woman to sneak out, so I waited and sweated and thought, while my woman banged on the windows and shouted my name, telling me what she would do to us once I opened the door."

He said eventually he emerged with a story that was bought by everyone who had gathered at his door.

"I told them that she was a nurse and thankfully she was really a practical nurse and that I had stomach cramps all night and couldn't move. When my girl asked why I couldn't open the door, I said I was just too sick, and was bent over the sink throwing up all morning. She was so sorry for me, that she believed and the nurse was allowed to leave."

It's successes like Ian's that cause many men to continue to try to worm their way out of similar situations after being caught in the act.

These are some excuses several men we interviewed said they would use, if caught.

* "I was going to have a shower and she was going to do the same in the other bathroom," Mark said as he burst out laughing

* "It's not what you think, she is just a friend," Paul said.

* "She means nothing to me. You are the one I love," Bobby added.

* "She means nothing to me, I was thinking about you all the time," Dwayne laughed.

* "I was drunk and she forced me," Gregory stated after carefully pondering the question.

* "This is the first time, I don't know what got over me," Floyd said. "This actually happened to me once and that was my excuse. It worked. You just have to convince your woman that the other woman means nothing to you and she will forgive you and move on."

* "I wanted you so badly and you weren't there so I just settled for her. You are the one I really want." This is another excuse Floyd said would do the trick.

* "She is a coach, I was just practising some new moves to try out with you on your birthday!" Damian laughed.

* "There is nothing I could say," Collin admitted. "I would just have to listen to her, apologise and work with anything she says. But I would try to convince her to stay if she decides to leave me," he added.

* "If you were giving it to me when I want it, I wouldn't have to cheat!" Anthony said. "The best tactic is defence."

After catching their men in the act and hearing all sorts of excuses, some women opt not to take a chance and physically attack the man, but for the other woman, often there is just no mercy.

Why do women seek to attack the other woman caught in the act instead of the man to whom they have made a commitment? The reasons range from trying to show the woman that she is still in charge and has the upper hand; to venting her anger as she may not be able to physically challenge the man; to making the other woman see she is not willing to let the man go without a fight.

But while catching your man cheating may drive you to violence towards other woman, Dr Rose Johnson, clinical psychologist, said this is not the best route to take.

"You have to remember that your behaviour has consequences even if you feel like hurting someone," she warned.

Instead, she advises that women who find themselves in this position:

1. Give themselves space: "Do whatever you need to do to get away from the situation (run, walk, drive!) You need space to contain and collect yourself. Give yourself the space to deal with the different emotions that you will go through anger, hurt, disappointment, etc."

2. Decide what you want after the discovery: "What you do after can get very complicated based on the individual."

3. Choose your next step: "Catching someone in the act doesn't mean the end of the relationship. I have known persons who have gone on to have good relationships," she said.

source:JamaicaObserver.com