THE FOLLOWING IS A DOCUMENT MY CLIENT MODO ASKED ME TO DRAW UP AND HAND TO MS. GIFTED HOTNESS. MY CLIENT AND I REQUEST YOUR SIGNATURE BEFORE ANY MARRIAGE PROCEEDINGS COMMENCE.
PRENUPTUAL AGREEMENT
Please sign, I, THE UNDERSIGNED, AGREE THAT...
1. In the unlikely event of my not having an orgasm after youve drunkenly rolled on top of me and pumped away for five minutes, wheezing like an old man with emphysema, I shall politely fake one.
2. I fully understand that a womans main role in any relationship is to take the blame. So when you stub your toe in the bathroom or your football team lose, I agree that - by some complex scientific equation incomprehensible to woman - it will be my fault. Even if I wasnt there.
3. Whenever my friends and I get together for a girlie chat, I will tell them that you are better hung than a large-balled Himalayan yak.
4. And I will also mention this to YOUR friends. A lot.
5. After sex, I will not expect you to cuddle me for hours till your arm goes dead. Nor will let my hair annoyingly get in your face.
6. I will never, ever give your penis a "cute" nickname.
7. In bed, I will be as keen as mustard to try any novel sexual position you fancy. Especially ones where I do all the work and you just lie there, grinning.
8. After we split up, I will never sleep with any of your friends or colleagues. Or anyone else you have ever met. Or may one day meet. And if men attempt to chat me up, I will solemnly inform them that you have "ruined me for other men".
9. I understand that mechanical objects like cars, computer games, and remote control devices are beyond the comprehension of women. I will only make a fool of myself if I attempt to operate them, so youre in charge of the lot. Except for the iron and the washing machine, of course.
10. Should the marriage not suffice, any clothes, jewelery, posts, money that i enter with those and only those shall i part with.
Signed ____________________________________
Date ______________________________________
-- Edited by Diva Appz (Mzja Dj) on Monday 6th of September 2010 01:40:50 PM
I'm afraid that there shall be no proceedings if this document is not signed..... one second.... just conferring with my client now... Seeing as u have replied to this thread u have signed Congratulations ! I look forward to the wedding !
I'm afraid that there shall be no proceedings if this document is not signed..... one second.... just conferring with my client now... Seeing as u have replied to this thread u have signed Congratulations ! I look forward to the wedding !