But once the shy guy matured, he may have found that women were drawn to him. Surprising? The appeal of a shy gentleman could lend itself to the intrigue he possesses; the less he says about himself, the more mysterious he seems. And the quiet guy standing alone at the bar could come across as a lone ranger, stopping in for a drink before hopping back onto his steed.
Women also like the challenge of cracking open the reserved guy. We know there's a wild animal lurking inside that innocent physique, and we want to be his tamer. It's common for women to take pride in successfully breaking a guy out of his shell and making him wild for her eyes only.
Shyness can also come across as modesty, as the bashful guy tends to lay low in a crowd and avoids being the center of attention. But while shyness can be "adorable" and appealing to the opposite sex, it can also become downright annoying after a while.
Shy? please, goodbye!
Besides the ladies who are jerk magnets, most women don't want an overconfident, ****y man when it comes to a serious relationship, nor do they want a man they have to take care of. But if shy men are intriguing, how could they not be all they're cracked up to be?
Never makes the first move Women want their guys to ask them out, plan the evening and kiss them when they least expect it -- in short, take chances. I know going out on a limb and risking rejection is frustrating, but you'll get nowhere fast if you refuse to make that first move. In addition to a lack of initiative, shy people generally tend to be more passive, and a man who's indifferent about everything and always aims to please can become annoying, even with the best of intentions. Don't hesitate to state your opinions or objections, if you have any.
No spontaneity Once you're dating a woman and you think she might be falling for you, you can really make her fall to her knees by planning a spontaneous date, without worrying about how she feels and what she thinks. Pick her up and don't tell her where you're going, take her hand in yours when the moment is right, and swing her in your arms when you feel like doing so. If a man is too shy, chances are he'll always be on his tiptoes trying to please her, rather than let loose and show her how lively he can really be.
Always asks for permission Along with a lack of spontaneity comes a constant need for approval by asking a woman before doing anything, from kissing her to putting his hand... It is chivalrous to ask her how she feels about physical intimacy and gauge whether or not she's ready to go further, but sometimes you have to rely on your instincts. There's no need to map out where you're going to kiss her next. If she wants to be kissed, you'll know -- and if you're wrong, you'll probably just get a taste of her cheek.
Insecurity A large part of shyness can stem from insecurity, which is a major turnoff for many women. Your lack of confidence can reflect itself in your coyness. Let's be honest: how many egomaniacs do you know that are shy? ( Anyone? Anyone? ) If you don't have the confidence to approach people and initiate conversations, can you imagine how many possibilities for romance you're missing out on? And why would a woman -- or man for that matter -- want to talk to a guy who doesn't think he is all that interesting himself? There is a fine line between confidence and ****iness though, and you have to make sure not to cross it.
Needs a caretaker No woman wants a guy that she has to worry about when she's out with her friends or in any social situation, nor wants to be a guide every time they get intimate.
Say goodbye to mr. shy guy
So you know that your shyness might be turning women off; well, here are some tips on getting over your bashfulness. If you're strictly reserved when a girl is in the picture but outgoing overall, then your coyness will probably subside as the relationship progresses. Once you gradually break out of your shell, your new attitude will surely seep into every area of your life.
Becoming a more socially outgoing person might seem scary for a guy who has known no other way, but chances are you've wanted to get over your shyness before.
Work on your confidence Being more extroverted could in turn make you appear more outgoing (without being obnoxious), but you have to start from the inside out. Making your self-esteem pour through your actions and attitude will be easy once you know how much you have to offer. Show yourself how great you are by making a self-worth checklist, citing all your accomplishments, the character traits you love about yourself, and the greatest moments in your life. Once you do an inventory check on how much you have to offer, it could help your pride shine through.
Be friendly to everyone Whether you're shy when it comes to women or timid with just about every stranger, take baby steps by being sociable with everyone. Talk about the weather with a salesperson and ask your co-worker who never smiles how his day is going. Once you get used to taking initiative with the random people you come in contact with, the easier it will be to make conversation with the cute redhead at the coffee shop, and approaching people will become second nature.
Practice makes perfect If you're shy when it comes to meeting new people and you know you'll be meeting your girlfriend's friends or family on a given weekend, go over some conversation topics that you can discuss and get yourself psyched for small talk. You don't need to make yourself crazy by reciting your spiel in front of a mirror -- that might only serve to make you more nervous -- but if you enter a social occasion knowing you're mentally revved and have some backup conversation tidbits to share, you'll feel more inclined to make an effort with strangers and eventually become the life of the party.
Take women off their pedestal Maybe you'd be able to avoid looking like a bumbling, blushing fool every time you said or did something if you didn't consider her a goddess. She's not there to judge your "date" performance, and if you give yourself a reality check that women are on the same level as you, then she'll surely get the chance to see the real you and all you have to offer. Act with her as you would with your friends and have fun.
Step up to the plate
At the risk of sounding hypocritical, it is important to be yourself with women. So if you are a shy person by nature, try to get over that aspect of your life so that the ladies can see you for who you are. Rid yourself of the fear of taking risks, and take gradual steps to take more initiative in every area of your life.
If it's only women that make you feel weak, practice the aforementioned tips and remember that your biggest critic is yourself. Once you know your worth, you'll be able to show women how great you are, and make them tremble when they're out with you.