SOME people believe that for a relationship to work, both parties must have everything in common, and this, for some, also applies to race and colour.

Others are more liberal in their beliefs, and they test the waters outside the race and colour safety zone. Sometimes the experiment works, sometimes it doesn't.

For 19-year-old Tashauna Jones, who's black, the relationship with her 21-year-old Caucasian boyfriend was doomed before it even began.

"For a while it worked out fine," Jones said. She said that he always got along with her friends because he "acted like he was black" and never made them feel inferior.

"But I guess that was one of the problems, he acted that way so he could fit in to make me comfortable, so he wasn't being himself," said Jones, explaining that she did not realise this until her boyfriend decided to introduce her to his mother.

"He was very different around her, and yes, you can say that we act better when we are around our parents, but everything about him just changed. I asked him about it but he just ignored me," Jones said.

The meeting with her boyfriend's mother was the beginning of the end for their relationship, as Jones said that she (the mother) would not leave them alone after that.

"I never understood what she hated about me, until I overheard a conversation between the two of them, with her telling him that he was acting 'ghetto' because he was with me."

They began arguing even more after that comment, Jones telling him that if he loved her he would have stood up for her.

"He laughed and said that the only one that was making it such a big problem was me and that if I didn't like it I should ignore it." Yet she could not ignore it and after constant fights with him, she broke it off.

"I couldn't stay with someone who wouldn't stand up for what I was or who I was, so he had to go. Funny enough, a few months later I saw him one day with a new girl, and would you believe it she was white. I bet his mother is really happy," Jones laughed.

Wendy Phillips, 28, also had an interracial relationship which was put on pause by a third party. Her friends did not approve of her German boyfriend, later turned fiancé, who she met in Jamaica. She said that they would make remarks to him behind her back, or while she was there.

"Some couldn't understand why I would not want to be with a nice Jamaican man, instead of "some white man", while others made comments to him that I was only after his money and that I would leave him as soon as I got tired of him," the black woman said.

She then met opposition when he introduced her to his parents in Germany.

"I swear, as soon as they saw me I could see the look of disgust on their faces. Is like dem write me off then and there. I stayed there for about two weeks and they would never talk to me, then one day there was this big argument between them and him, and that was the end of us."

She found out that his parents had given her fiancé an ultimatum he breaks up with her, or they would cut him out of their will, where he stood to lose a lot of money.

"He chose the money, and kindly bought a plane ticket for me to come back home. To think that I was going to marry him, but I kept the ring though, he never was going to get that back," she said.

But while the relationship did not work out for Jones and Phillips, there are couples who, though they have come under scrutiny, have managed to stay together.

Tamara and Aaron have been together since high school, and now that they are graduating from university, are looking to get married. Aaron, who was born in Jamaica, but has Chinese parents, said that they are giving him a 'warm time' about being with Tamara, especially when he broached the subject of marriage.

"They are not too happy about it, especially the thought of our children. They have threatened me a lot of times that the will disown me if I do not break up with her, but it does not trouble me," he said.

When asked how she manages under the scrutiny, Tamara said that there are times when she becomes depressed over it, but that Aaron constantly supports her and that gives her strength.

"He loves me and I love him, I'm not saying that it doesn't anger me, but I take comfort in the fact that it angers him too and he will always stand by me," she said.

Counselling Psychologist Lola Allen-Jones said that if persons are going to enter in these types of relationships, they will have to know what they are up against, and be prepared for the consequences that await them.

"Once the love is strong they just have to work with each other... however, they have to ensure that it is genuine love and not lust," she said.

She said that it may take time for persons to accept them, but in the end, when these persons see that they love each other, they will come around. She added that there should also be a certain level of maturity between the couple, where they need to communicate with each other in order to deal with the harsh reality that they may find themselves in.

"These relationships can work, but you have to be mature enough. There might be painful moments... but if they can walk through it and know that they understand what each other is going through and support each other, then nothing can stop them," Allen-Jones said.