> MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
>
> NICKNAMES
> If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
> Laura, Kate and Sarah.
> If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to
> each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
>
> EATING OUT
> When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20,
> even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
> smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
> When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
>
> MONEY
> A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
> A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
> sale.
>
> BATHROOMS
> A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
> shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
> The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
> A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
>
> ARGUMENTS
> A woman has the last word in any argument.
> Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
>
> FUTURE
> A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>
> SUCCESS
> A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
> spend.
> A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
>
> MARRIAGE
> A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
> A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
>
> DRESSING UP
> A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
> trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
> A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
>
> NATURAL
> Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
> Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
>
> OFFSPRING
> Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
> about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite
> foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
> A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
>
> THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
> A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
> remembering the same thing!