At dawn the telephone rings, 'Hello, boss? This is Leroy, the caretaker at your country house.'

'Ah yes, Leroy. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?'

'Um, I am just calling to advise you, boss, that your parrot, he is dead.'

'My parrot? Dead? The one that won the international competition?'

'yes boss, that's the one.'

'Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?'

'From eating the rotten meat, boss.'

'Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?'

'Nobody, boss. He ate the meat of the dead horse.'

'Dead horse? What dead horse?'

'The thoroughbred, boss.'

'My prize thoroughbred that won the c**kspur Gold cup?'

'Yes, boss.  He died from all that work pulling the water cart.'

'Are you insane?? What water cart?'

'The one we used to put out the fire, boss.'

'Good Lord!! What fire are you talking about, man?'

'The one at your house, boss! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.'

'What the hell?? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?'

'Yes, boss.'

'But there's electricity at the house!! What was the candle for?'

'For the funeral, boss.'

'WHAT *lo**Y FUNERAL??!!'

'Your wife's, boss, she showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your cricket bat the one which was autographed by Sobers, Lara and Viv.

THEN THERE IS SILENCE...A LONG SILENCE FINALLY THE BOSS SPEAKS

'Leroy, if you brek my bat, you in nuff ra**hole trouble'