Wah happen to some ah dem gal ya? Dem bleach fi one week straight, get bruk and now, dem blacker than before. Poor tings. Nuff people lose dem way inna the Gideon thats why mi is a girl just a focus on the important things: family, community and of course, making real mad money. Yu know the Biggie Smalls song? Birthdays was the worst day, now we drink champagne when were thirs-ty, ah de so my ting de. Yu nuh see the world economy inna shambles? Circuit City declare bankruptcy, Wall Street inna turmoil, the Jamaican dollar ah slide towards 80 to 1, demons tek over Jamaica, cults ah murder people inna *lo** sacrifice, everything ah tumble and mi nah hear nothing about mi friend dem Cash Plus money. Right now, mi need fi mek some crazy money cause mi caan get bruk back again. Mi see dem a talk say one876 never de ah the party and all these things, yu nuh see the pictures dem inna the gallery? Ah we ah lead, one876 to the universe.

50 VIRGINS FOR DEVIL'S PARTY

Yu nuh read the XNews last week that dem waan 50 virgins fi sacrifice fi Halloween party and all these things. Jamaica is in the middle of a serious spiritual war. Watch it mek me warn dem what a go gwaan if dem no change dem dutty life. Just call me Abena the Warner because mi know mi bible: "Howl ye for the day of the Lord is at hand, it shall come  as a destruction from the Almighty. (Isaiah 13 v 6." Jamaica, the glory of the Caribbean  shall be as when God overthrew Sodom and Gomorrah. God is about to break the staff of the wicked and the scepter of the rulers. Check out Isaiah 28 v 14-29. Hear the word of the Lord ye boasters and scorners,  people who have made covenant with death and people who are saying they have made an agreement with hell, those who have made lies their refuge, who are promoted through falsehood and *lo**shed." Who yu tink the bible ah talk? All ah oonu who ah wear guard ring, ah sleep inna coffin, and ah drink bat *lo** and ah trick the peopel and call oonuselves God. And all ye who ah visit oonu obeah man under the cover of darkness, woe unto ye!!!

EMPIRE HEADS TO GUYANA
The Portmore Empire will be heading to Guyana this weekend to perform at a stage show there. Addi will lead out the Empire without Blak Ryno who has a show in Montego Bay this weekend but Shawn Storm, Doza Medicine, Lisa Hype will represent. Remember this is the same Guyana who banned Bounty Killer and Mavado earlier this year, but this is Kartels first time in Guyana ever so it will be interesting to see the reaction of the press and community groups to his presence, mi ah go keep mi eye on this one.

STACIOUS MASHES UP MAGNUM LAUNCH
Mi hear say Stacious tek it to dem at the Magnum Kings and Queens launch last night, she mash up the place with Falling Down and she have the Magnum Girls dem a dance to Goodas Clap, but she get the biggest reaction for the anti-daggering song about how the man dem a handle the woman dem inna the dancehall, with dem sky daggering and jumping off sound boxes, etcetera, she had the crowd cracking up. Big up Stacious, mi hear say yu a fly out this weekend to do some shopping in Miami and all these things.

CHERINE LIVING BIG IN AUSTRALIA
Gwaan Cherine, yu reach a continent most Jamaicans will never visit unless dem ah play fi the West Indies. Mi read an article where she over de a tek in Aboriginal art and buy quaint little items like Rainmaker Didgeridoo that is painted and crafted in the traditional dreamtime colors depicting native Australian styles.  Cherine, yu ting sort out, yu really global now, and mi love how yu ah move wid Michael Franti band and all these things.

PEOPLE AH ASK
Why dem bad mind Sidonie and ah talk up so much things about her? Mi see the pictures dem from the party and she look good in her outfit and her hair sort out. Why oonu ah fight har? Because Ele love her?

Why Wadda *lo** dem haffi hold Hottaball and beat him wah day ya? Him violate again? Bwoy, people can give it to him sah!

Is it true say Coco Tea ah go sing at Barack Obama inauguration party inna January 2009? That woulda be a big ting.

Which girl ah tief clothes ah Santa Cruz so she can go Dutty Fridaze? The whole ah yu business out inna the open now?

Wha happen to Colourful Duppy and BLS so early inna the morning? Oonu need fi listen to some Dennis Brown and hold a meds. Stop the fussing and fighting.

Which hot girl always de ah Hilton a gamble fi pay dem rent? Mi no ready fi call no name yet.

Why the Cash Plus liquidator get sacked by the Ministry of Justice so sudden? Free up the money!

How Ms. Kitty look so hot at the Magnum Kings and Queen launch at Indies last night?

Why dem a try mash up Capleton tour? Remember how the gays dem did mash up his 2004 tour?

How DAngel ah go so hard? She plan video launch fi her Stronger single ah the Pegasus again tomorrow She hype eh!

What a go happen when Supt. Harry Bungles go back a court this morning pon corruption charges?