I moved to Miami nine years ago and met up with a guy I knew in Jamaica. He was the first guy I ever kissed and I thought I was in love with him. I gave him my virginity when I was 18. Things were good at first. He had a friend who was in jail. When he called the house he would talk to me and my sisters and we became friends. My boyfriend treated me very badly. He even brought a girl to the house to have sex because I wouldn't give it to him. When his friend got out of jail and started to visit the house we hung out a lot and had fun. I would talk to him about my feelings and he talked to me about his.

Friendly kiss

He is a nice person, and he never made a pass at me. I set him up with my little sister and they talked for a month. He would come to me and ask me questions about her and if she liked him, and I would say yes. Nothing really happened between them. They only kissed once. A friendly kiss on the lip, no tongue.

He and my sister stopped talking and my boyfriend and I broke up. We remained good friends. It turned out that he always had a crush on me and I had a crush on him too. As a matter of fact, we are in love with each other. He talked to my ex about it, and he said that he knew from a long time that he liked me and he had no problem with it. We still haven't acted on our feelings for each other.

Better man

My sister is married and has a child and she never liked him. I once told her that I had a crush on him, but she didn't say anything. He is in prison now because they found him guilty of the charges that he was locked up for. My sister knows that we write to each other. He is getting out soon and he said he wants us to be together because he made a lot of mistakes in his life and he wants to be a better man.

He is a nice guy, and I love him, but I don't know if I should just forget about our love or tell my sister that all these years I have been in love with him and the only reason I set them up was because I was in a relationship. Please, tell me what to do.

K. B., Florida, USA

Dear K. B.,

I will not encourage you to go any further with this man. He is a close friend of your ex boyfriend and he was dating your sister. I understand you have 'feelings' for him, but a good relationship has to appear clean from the very beginning. Your ex boyfriend was suspicious of both of you during the time your ex boyfriend and you were going together.

A good man does not become emotionally involved with his friend's girlfriend. And, if the girlfriend shows interest in him, he should stop her in her tracks. Therefore, both of you should be blamed for your closeness.

Then there is your sister. She will not be pleased if the relationship goes further. No explanation from you will be good enough.

The man is in prison. Write and tell him that it is over. Don't wait until he has served his time. Tell him now.

Pastor