Surprise! Vagina Dentata!

Somehow, I missed this gem when it first came out at Foreign Policy Passport:

"Later this month, South African women will be able to purchase the Rapex device, marketed as the "anti-rape condom." The rapex, shaped like a female condom, is worn internally and equipped with 25 teeth in its lining. The razor-sharp teeth fasten on the attacker's penis if he attempts penetration. Since the device does no lasting damage to the attacker, it is completely legal and will sell for 1 Rand (around 14 cents) when it hits stores. The majority of women surveyed about the device said they would be willing to use it.

The inventor of Rapex, South African Sonette Ehler, a former medical technician, got the idea when a traumatized rape victim lamented to her, "If only I had teeth down there.""

Look at the little teeth!

The FAQ page for the Rapex is full of delights. For instance:

Q: Is its removal easy once penetration has taken place?

A: Yes, there is no need for you to remove it, as it has attached itself to the penis upon initial penetration it will be removed as the penis is withdrawn.

Yep: it has attached itself with its little teeth!

Q: Can't the rapist simply take a pair of scissors and cut it off?

A: No. The latex cannot be cut easily, the hooks are embedded in the skin and it is extremely difficult to remove.

Oh Noes Mr Rapist! What to do?

Q: Will it cause permanent damage to the rapist?

A: No, not if he gets professional help without delay

Preferably at a hospital. A hospital that will document the procedure, for future use in criminal proceedings. Heh heh heh.

There are some other funny questions, like "Will the rapist be attached or stuck to the woman?" and (my personal favorite) "Can this be worn during masturbation?", to which the manufacturers tactfully answer "No, not at all", rather than "Yes, but only if you really hate your dildo", or "Of course it can, silly, but only if you fancy explaining to an emergency room doctor what a toothed female condom is doing attached to your fingers."