Getting Directions

I was trying to find my dressmaker, and asked someone on the street for directions. This is what she told me:

"Tek a red and white mini-bus to Parade, den walk til yu reach de patty stand on Bruk-Down carner. Hask de gentleman deh how yu fi reach de lady wha mek de high culcha frock dem. Him will send yu to Miss Edna (she haf a likkle fry fish shop further down), and is her cousin who live near de street where Maas One-Yeye stop.

Is fi him girlfren niece who know de address of the guy wha live near to de chile wha wok at de butike, and is her bwoyfren wha haf de motor bike. After yu reach Lik-Me-Down carner, tun right till yu come to de yard wid de four bad mongrel dawg dem.

(Fling stone after dem and dem will run whey). Knock pon de winda five time and Miss Eliza will come. (Memba fi keep two stone inna fi yu han case de dawg dem cum back). Miss Liza will tell yu how fi reach de guy wid de motor bike.

Him is a nice bwoy; jus give him a smalls and him will carry yu safe. But hol on tight cause him young and him drive fas'. Him don't haf him licence yet, so if yu see de police dem, jump offa de bike. Him will tek yu to Drop-Dead gully - it not too wide - jus jump ovah and mine yu no bruk yu foot, den tun lef', and yu see de shop.

It easy; yu caan miss it!