A DAD wept yesterday as he recalled the nightmare moment he had to choose which of his two children to save from drowning after their canoe capsized.
Ian Clayton was riding rapids with his nine-year-old daughter Billie Holliday and her twin brother Edward when the tragedy unfolded.
The Yorkshire TV presenter, 48, told an inquest that all three had been pitched into the water after they took a wrong turn into fast water during an outing on the River Wye in Mid Wales.
Ian who had never been canoeing before was forced to make a split-second decision over which of the children to rescue after Billie slipped under the water.
Edward was clinging desperately to the branches of a felled tree lying in the river.
Heartbreak ... dad Ian could save only one of his children
But there was no sign of his daughter, whom he suspected was still under the overturned canoe, stuck 20 yards upstream.
Devastated Ian said: At times I dream I went the wrong way. It is something that has been in my mind for two years and two months. Did I make the right decision? I dont know and I suppose I will never know.
Should I go for the one I can see and hope that later I can find the one I cant see?
In the end I went for the one I could see. Getting him out wasnt without difficulty.
He added: When I eventually got to Edward in the river, the first thing he said to me was, Save my sister first.
Tipped
It is hard to imagine what must have been going through that little lads mind for him to say that.
Mr Clayton, from Featherstone, West Yorks, said the canoe overturned after he took a wrong turn in the river while they tried to make their way downstream to Hay-on-Wye.
His partner Heather Parkinson, the mother of Billie and Edward, did not want to go on the water and was waiting for them.
The inquest heard how Ian and the children got into difficulty just over an hour into the trip.
He realised he had taken a wrong turn and was trying to make his way back upstream when he encountered a fast current. He said I could hear the water was fast, bearing in mind wed been on a very placid part of the river.
I wondered whether it was too fast for me and should I stop to reassess what we were doing.
Suddenly we were taken and I couldnt steer the canoe because it was forceful on the bend.
In the blink of an eye we hit something I thought was a fallen tree and the canoe tipped over.
He climbed out, stripped off, and then jumped back into the icy water to save his son.
He went on: I edged my way across the tree to him. His life jacket was flapping in the water.
It looked like he was body surfing as he held on to the tree because of the power of the water.
I pulled him up and he nearly strangled me because he was holding on so tight.
I kept saying, Youre going to be okay but he kept saying, Youre not going to let me die, are you, Daddy?. The pair managed to scramble to safety.
But Mr Clayton then fought back tears as he told how his PHONE had rung as he prepared to go back in the river after the capsize.
Ian, who had earlier raised the alarm, said: I know you wouldnt even think about answering the phone in that situation but I did. It was an emergency dispatcher. She was telling me that under Health and Safety rules I shouldnt jump back in the water.
I was frightened to go back in there. I will admit it. Im not sure if I would have if that woman hadnt told me not to do it.
Which twin to go for? Even to this day I wonder if I made the right decision. Ill never know.
Desperate attempts were made to find Billie, first of all by dad Ian and then by two policemen alerted to the incident. But it was too late when she was located nearly an hour later. She was airlifted to Hereford Hospital where she was pronounced dead, the inquest in Welshpool, Mid-Wales, heard.
Mr Clayton, who was nearly fainting from his exertions, and son Edward were treated for hypothermia after the tragedy.
He was persuaded to enter an ambulance while his daughter was still missing for the sake of his son, who had turned blue from the coldness of the water.
He said: I didnt see Billie again. The next time I saw her was in the hospital.
Beautiful
Before describing the events of the fateful day, he held up a school photo taken of his daughter and paid her an emotional tribute.
Ian said: I want people to remember who we are talking about. This is Billie when she was eight and it is her last school photograph.
Most people who look at it say, What a beautiful girl.
She was a delight, an absolute delight. Heather and me waited 18 years before we had children.
River ... canoeists on Wye
Weve been together 30 years next year and our family often showed concern we hadnt had any children, particularly my granny who wanted great-grandchildren before she died. We decided to have a family after Heather completed her degree at university and I got on with my career as a writer and broadcaster.
Heather became pregnant and at the first scan at 13 weeks we were told we were having twins. I couldnt wait to tell my granny.
Ian, who hosts a documentary series My Yorkshire, added: Its difficult to tell you how much we miss Billie. People tell you that time is a great healer and its not.
The distance between Billie dying that day and where we are two years and two months on has not healed us in any way.
The inquest heard that staff at the company that rented the family the Canadian open canoe had only offered limited advice before they set off on their trip.
Mr Clayton said he had been told by a man called Wayne to follow his nose, keep out of the shallows and they would eventually find themselves back in Hay-on-Wye in three hours time.
Two men were arrested over the tragedy but did not face charges.
James Gamon, who runs another canoe hire company in Hay-on-Wye, told the inquest he would never have let Mr Clayton take his two children out on to the river.
He said: The reason for that is that you cant save two children you can only go for one. He acknowledged that his policy of making sure every child was accompanied by at least one adult was not a binding regulation.
Coroner Peter Maddox said that there was a serious cause for concern about the way canoes are rented to novices across the UK.
He said: There seems to be an apparent contradiction in the licensing laws, which gives me serious cause for concern.
There seems to be a potentially large hole into which the very inexperienced may fall into if the hazards have not been properly explained.
I believe that avoidance of danger is assisted by knowledge.
He had been told by Marcus Bailie, head of inspection at the Adventure Activities Licensing Service, that the licensing laws gave them no power to prevent boat hire companies letting beginners go out alone.
Howard Jeffs, of the British Canoeing Union, said checks carried out after Billies death in April 2006 had failed to identify any faults. All the equipment used was brand new.
The inquest, which is expected to last three days, continues today.
I NEVER fail, i'm just SUCCESSFUL in finding out what doesn't work Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.
where the hell he going with his two kids and a di fus time him a guh canoeing??? i tell you man.....its sad but he's the one that placed them in harms way.....safety safety safety....him have no experience and think it was wise fi carry BOTH him damn pickney dem guh float roun.....if i was a judge i'd charge him with being a dumb hill billy. but i guess we all make mistakes huh??? but yuh nuh dweet wid yuh pickney dem life rasta