Dear Pastor,

First, I would like to commend you on the wonderful job that you are doing and have done. Anyway, I have a problem and would like any suggestion you can give.

I've been with a guy for two years now. My children love him very much and so do I, but the problem is that since we've been together, we argue almost every day about anything and everything. He is a few years younger than I am, but every little thing gets to him.

When we first met, we spoke on the phone. Not long after, I asked him if he was landed and he told me that he was not. Anyway, I didn't let that stop me from talking to him. He said he was going home soon, but I told him that if he wanted, I'd try and help him as much as I could to get his stay in the country. I liked him a lot and I said that it didn't matter if a man was landed or not. If he's supposed to hurt you, he will. I have been with guys who are legal in the country, and half the things that this guy has done for me, no one has ever done, and people who have their papers have problems and get divorced also. I just say, whatever the Lord has for me, will be.

Anyway, I talked him into staying. Since we've been together, he has worked and has helped me out a lot with everything - more than my own children's father does. My problem is he is a few years younger than I am, but he gets upset so easily, and this is making me second-guess if I should still help him or let him go.

A few weeks ago, I was in this store and a man stopped and was talking to me and my friend for a long time. He was telling us about life and about his past. Then he said to me that because I felt sorry for people easily, guys took advantage of me and that the guy I was talking to was dating other women. He started saying other things that sounded like he knew what he was talking about and how he couldn't tell me everything about this guy because the store was closing and I had to leave, but the next time he saw me, I was going to be shocked about things he had to tell me about this guy. He said things to my friend, too, that made us both look at each other and ask if this guy was for real. How would he know all these things?

I'm not one to believe in psychics and all, but now he makes me look at my fiancé differently and has me asking him if he's cheating and so on, which is building more arguments between us. I told him to move out and we are not speaking to each other. Now I'm wondering if this man can really see things or he's just full of .

Please help me pastor.

T. D., Canada

Dear T. D.,

You haven't said what this man who met you at the store said about your boyfriend apart from saying that your boyfriend was dating other women. You turned on your boyfriend because of what this man said. You don't know whether what the man said was true. So you should not have presented any argument to him. Whether this man is a psychic or not, you should have ignored him.

Suppose this man was trying to say things to you that would cause you to leave your boyfriend, and become intimate with him? The only approach that some men know when they are trying to 'make a move' on a woman is to lie about the woman's boyfriend. Unfortunately, many women believe these liars and break up with their boyfriends or husbands and sometimes it takes years for them to realise that those who took news to them were lying. If your boyfriend and you were having problems, you should have gone to see a family counsellor, but you should not have treated him as someone on whose dignity you can trample.