This week, we explore the mystery of tantric sex. Tantric sex originated in India some 3,000 years ago.

The word 'tantric' is derived from the Sanskrit word 'tantra', which means to manifest, to expand, to show and to weave.

Tantric sex is said to expand consciousness and to weave together the polarities of male (represented by the Hindu god, Shiva) and female (embodied by the Hindu goddess, Shakti) into a harmonious whole. Tantra emerged as a rebellion against organised religion, which held that sexuality should be rejected in order to reach enlightenment.

Tantra challenged the ascetic beliefs (to abstain from worldly pleasures and comfort) of that time, and proposed that sexuality was a doorway to the divine. It also propounded that earthly pleasures, such as eating, dancing and creative expressions, were sacred acts.

Making love is seen as a gift from God. So there is no repression or guilt attached to sex. It teaches that when a man approaches his beloved, he should have a sacred feeling, as if entering a temple.

Tantra teaches lovers how to extend the peak of their sexual ecstasy so that women and men can experience several orgasms in a single sexual encounter.

Tantric intimacy exercises

The tantric tradition emphasises preparation for lovemaking. Erotic rituals focus on exchanging pleasures, awakening the senses and allowing couples to communicate deeply, physically and emotionally.

The following exercises will help you reconnect with your body and with your partner in a special way. As you move through these steps, do not focus on intercourse as the ultimate goal. Simply enjoy, giving and receiving pleasure using sensual touch and words of love.

Plan a sexual rendezvous. At least once per week, set aside an hour or more of uninterrupted time to be together.

Create a temple of love. Whether you meet in your bedroom, living room or another space in your house, creating a sacred space for each other will help you relax and set the mood. You can transform any room into a temple of love using candles, fresh flowers, erotic art, finger foods and tantalising aromas.

Dress provocatively. Experiment with clothing or accessories that make you feel sexy and excite your partner.

Use ritual to develop intimacy. Begin your journey with a ritual. Feed each other aphrodisiac foods or share a glass of wine in the nude. Some couples enjoy bathing together in order to connect with each other.

Sensual massage is also an excellent way to fuse your energies. I also recommend that you read poetry to each other, dance, play, listen to music, etc. Use this time to communicate, sharing what you admire most about each other.

Harmonise your breathing. Breathing is an important concept for tantric practitioners. Partners should learn to concentrate and synchronise their breathing, with the male and female taking alternate breaths.

Try this exercise: Sit quietly, cross-legged, facing each other. Rest your hands on your knees with your palms facing up. As you gaze into your partner's eyes, take soft, but deep breaths. Keep your eyes open, gazing beyond the eyes, into your partner's soul. Sustained eye contact is essential for building intimacy. Practise this exercise until you can sustain eye contact and harmonise breathing for about 10 minutes.

Try to spend several weeks practising tantric intimacy exercises without necessarily engaging in intercourse. Then, you may move into the next exercise.

Erotic touch

This pleasurable practice will help you become better lovers. Guide your partner as you take turns stimulating each other. Describe exactly how you would like to be touched. Share your desires in an encouraging way, making requests in a clear and loving manner.

Once you become comfortable with this process, you may wish to create a 'pleasure chest'. Include whatever excites you and your partner - a feather, marital aids, massage oil, blindfold, soft fabric, erotica and love notes to each other, etc.

Explore new and creative ways to awaken each other's minds and bodies. Then, you will be ready for tantric lovemaking.

Tantric lovemaking

As you make the transition into sex, the idea is to maintain a state of sexual ecstasy for as long as possible. Tantric lovemaking is not result-oriented, but rather timeless and unstructured.

Maintain a deep level of intimacy. Continue to gaze into each other's eyes as much as possible. It has been said that a woman's most powerful sex organ lies between her ears. Since desire can be inhibited by fear, guilt, stress, etc, women often need to concentrate on feelings rather than thinking when making love.

Help each other feel loved and desired.

Keep it slow. A long, slow build-up helps men control orgasm and enhance women's arousal. Gently stimulate the erogenous zones. Commence slow unhurried intercourse. According to tantric teacher, Robert Frey, the longer you linger in this process of building energy, the longer men can resist ejaculation and the woman's response will be more intense.

Bring your attention back to your breathing. Resist the urge to breathe quickly. Instead, take long, slow, deep breaths from the belly and exhale gradually. You may match your breathing to that of your partner, or try breathing alternately - as you inhale, your partner exhales. This moves energy back and forth and connects you to your lover.

Vary your positions. Different sex positions add to sexual pleasure and balance male and female energies.

Mini-orgasms in men. Male initiates are taught the four phases of sexual activity. Phase one is arousal; phase two is realised when the male approaches orgasm. Phase three is orgasm itself and phase four is ejaculation.

By learning to distinguish between the