My youth don't annoy mi, cause when mi sting mi nuh miss. To di real Toppa Top Massive: Caroline, Tarrant High Grade 11 1-3 (mek sure uno pass uno CXC dem! Wi naw stop ah gra**roots, a straight gra** top wi a go!), di 13-year-old girl (gwaan hold it and focus pon school), Dahlia (MoBay), Kirk (sorry mi mek yuh laugh till yuh choke last week. Sorry boss), DJ Dee and Cupid uno large (Mandeville), Sky Gradez girls (Cumberland), Kareen Green (yuh mek mi laugh so till mi tun ova my girl!), big up yuh husband Robert Green, yuh sister Kellee Allen. And as yuh say "Big up me other man Buju Banton (well him is actually me imaginary man ... but the one sided love strong, strong)."

Truss mi yuh nuh easy at all! Uno link mi pon hotgalcherry@hotmail.com or TEXT 447-1728. Suss time!

Bounty Killer - file

But massive, dis are getting very serious! It nuh look like nobaddy can go say 'I are di one' when it come to Rodney. Mi ask bout Saki and Grace-Ann last week, now see it deh, mi haffi go talk up di tings dem bout Nandi! Lookyah Rodney, mi come fi understand say pon yuh European tour wha gone wha day yah, yuh nuh mek Miss Nandi come too!

Apart from dat, she all over di place wid yuh. Ah who she be? Ah whe she come from? Is a next 'model'? Cause mi know how yuh love dem! Dem agency coulddah name 'Battafoot Unknown Idlers Model Agency', yuh a tek dem on same way as long as dem name 'model' and dem face sort out. Yes mi nuh know at all, cause it stink outta road, so till some people a pop style say ants inna Saki and Grace-Ann milk.

So wha happen to Camille? Yuh see if I were one of di Sakiseseses or di Grace-Annseseses, mi woulddah save all a dem money deh whe mi a get and open one shop like di real money-maker roun here! Presenting, D'Angel! But pon a serious note, come massive, let us join hands and offer a word of prayer fi dis mix-up and blender ...

Now Mr Famous footballer, mi a tell yuh di truth, mi nuh know wha fi believe at all, tall, tall! One member of deh particular starry crew deh a talk up di tings dem say she breed fi yuh, but yuh a say yuh naw matter dat cause as far as you concerned a nuh fi yuh and is a likkle bat-up-an-ketch who a try play 'Pin di Pickney', but you and yuh wifey will not have it!

But lookyah now Miss Starlight, star bright, mi hope since yuh deh pop style like woman ah yard and a say 'big up mi clean, clean baby father' inna video light, when push come to shove and DNA test fi run, yuh have mouth too and it naw go come een like no Maury Povitch show whe yuh a run off a stage and a bawl.

Hey! Yes you Mr Mohawk, it look like mi haffi go lef one voicemail pon yuh phone or someting, cause yuh a get outta hand now. Yuh mean fi tell mi say apart from di big breasteseses one who love siddung rounda di big yard and listen to har brodda jukebox, yuh have four more big breastseseses fi deal wit!? Have mercy man! How much big breastseseseseseseses can one human hangle!? When yuh get time fi go relax and just da-a-a-a-an-ance? Yuh have one dung a di plane company and see it deh, yuh have one more dung a di bank! Yuh haffi have one pair a breastseses everywhe yuh do a business transaction? Whaapen, if is a flight attendant wid just nips, yuh cyan listen to di safety instruction dem? By di way, yuh know say di woman tings are not di life jacket fi stay afloat? Right? Have mercy!

Twitch, what a way yuh tun movie star pon wi eeh? Mi did tink a juggling alone yuh good fah. When mi see di trailer fi di new movie, mi when deh wonder if a you, but when mi tek a stock, nuh Twitchy?! Ah how dat happen? Ah ongle out yah it a show? It a go bootleg a foreign? A pure question mi have! Oh yeah, mi notice say Mavado in deh too, is a major role or wha? Mi hope ah nuh no fool fool movie enuh, cause Shottas did hot, so if is a Jamaican ting uno a come wid, it cyan less dan dat!

Lookyah DASECA, mi siddung and pree uno fi di whole month as STAR artiste of di month and mi notice say mi nuh see nuttin bout Loraine! A wha? Look how long sinting suppose to drop from Mrs Bugle. Any normal music group woulddah tek di month-long opportunity fi at least push her inna di fresh act column and do some promotion. But since dat done gone bad already, mi hope when her ting drop a nuh no ediot song cause mi a tell uno di honest truth, she have a good voice but smaddy send mi some track wha she do and one a dem did have on Camar and di song lame like Mas Joe three-foot donkey! So mi hope a nuh none a dem deh uno a try leggo to di public. Mek mi tell uno wha fi do: Bugle and him wifey need fi do a love song! Heh hey!

MI WAAH FI KNOW:

"What a way di ting bout di alleged buggering and di promoter stink? But lookyah "Mr Addi A Mi daddy 2008" inna di chat room, wha mek you one so cross over it? At one point mi did tink say yuh when go have heart failure di way how yuh cuss and threaten!

"Assassin which move mi fi buss fi di In This Club remix wid you and Usher? Di beat sell off, but mi haffi go do a super-fast 'nuh lingah' one double-time 'pon di edge' and one mega-fast 'quint it'. Mi juss nuh sure.