Portmore, Spanish Town, New York, this was a weird week for me. Mi de home ah watch the news and mi just feel bummy, ah the first time mi feel so in a long time, mi not even badda go Wayne Marshall birthday party ah Indies. How the country ah run so? Cash Plus Fraud? Man ah have sex wid goat? 13 people get shot downtown Kingston, one dead. Motor vehicle licence gone up by 50 per cent, but mi haffi say big up to the levy on the cigarette smoking, low the cancer stick, oonu ah kill off oonu self and other people wid it.

NIKKI Z HAIRSTYLE STOPS TRAFFIC
Mi hear say Nikki Z have a new hairstyle and it ah come out inna one newspaper today. Mi hear say the style is a...bit unusual. But we nah say nothing bad about it, it just shows that she is a unique individual and she ah mi friend fi life, she no fraid fi talk the tings de, so tek yu forward, Nikki Z, yu hairstyle ah go hard. Unfortunately we don't have any pictures to show our visitors.

CURRY GOAT BAN FOR ABENA
I am taking a break from eating curry goat for now. Mi watch the news the other day , and the story about the yute who run lef him ratchet knife, cellular phone and keys after dem ketch him raping a goat in the Belair district innna Manchester have mi glued to mi TV screen. Wha really happen to the man dem inna the country? Dem sick? Or perverted? Or possessed? Back inna the day, mi know dem used to find condom inna the she-goat dem, but dem yute ya tek it to a new level, the report say him cut out the goat eyes, presumably because him no waan she see who ah rape her, or maybe because him feel she coulda identify him; no witness roun ere. Right now, mi a try out the vegetarian diet and all these things, the goat meat ting, mi de pon THAT!

HARDLY A BREAK
Dancehall cant catch a break since the Rear Admiral Hardley Lewin decide fi pressure the ting. Police officers have been enforcing the 2 a.m shutdown like crazy. But still mi go Weddy Weddy, the place cork, the vibes right, and it neva lock off so me love say the police ah use common sense and do the ting.

MAGNUM KINGS AND QUEENS THIS WEEKEND AGAIN
The big finale ah come up fi the show soon. Mi ah carry Baby Tash and Della and the singer yute, I think him name Singer Jah. Ms. Kitty. Big up yourself, Skatta, yu large, General Degree, yu have the ting dem lock, yu clothing line ah say RRRRRHH