Dear Pastor,

I am a 28 year old lady who lives in Trelawny. The problem that I am having is that my child's father won't leave his woman in England. I am fed up of him and this woman. I know that they were together before I got involved with him. When we met, he told me that his fiancé has gone to England for a few months. Before she came back, I got pregnant and he wasn't really happy with it. Anyway, he told his woman in England and she was very upset with him. He said that he cannot get over his woman because they have been together for years and he just cannot walk away from the relationship just like that.

Hoping for his love

He is willing to take care of his child, but as for me I really do love him and just hope that he could love me the same way. He is still talking to his woman in England and he refuses to have a relationship with me because of her. We are not living together, but I hope that one day he could see that we could both have something very special here. He said that his woman in England has been faithful to him, but I don't know if that is true. Why can't he just make do with me and his daughter? What does this woman have that I don't have? I kind of blame myself for all of this. This woman came back to Jamaica last year and both of them hit it off just like that. I know that she loves him as well, but I think that I deserve him more because I have his one and only child.

Please, tell me how to walk away because I've tried, but I just can't. Do you think that I am being unreasonable to want this man for myself?

N. S., Trelawny, Jamaica

Dear N. S.,

You think you deserve to have this man, but the man is telling you and rightly so that he wants to remain with the woman you knew he had before you became pregnant by him. He was careless and you were careless. Both of you decided to have unprotected sex and you became pregnant. But you knew that he has always been in love with his girlfriend who lives in England. He told you he is not leaving her for you.

He has not given you any hope that one day he may marry you. So, get out of his life. Allow him to support his child, but that's it. If you continue to go to bed with him, it will mean nothing much to him because both of you will never get married.

Something over

The reason why you find it difficult to end this relationship is because you believe you have something over the other girl, and that is a child. But I am here to tell you that a child will not necessarily cause a man to stay with a woman. Get it into your head, the man does not love you. So, before you go to bed tonight, say your prayers and ask God to help you to leave this man alone. If you want a man, look somewhere else.

Pastor

The next time you see this man, tell him you have made up your mind to end the relationship with him, so he should help you by not taking advantage of you and your weakness for him.