Last week we spoke about the ladies and their NOT so flattering tummies, we hope that some of you have started your lettuce and water diets and stop eating those double cheese burgers and diet soda (because oonu not foolin nobody wid di diet soda, but oonuself, den oonu go pon TV ah bawl bout oonu cyaah lose weight ...ah wonder why ...go figure).

Anyhow this week we have a much more pressing issue to address and this has to do with some "SO CALLED" men in our society. Yes a lot of you are guilty and know yourselves. What are we talking about is nothing more than the wearing of these 'Tight Pants 'and 'Pencil Foot' jeans that were meant for WOMEN (note the capitalization). Gentlemen, (then again some of you are the farthest thing from a man) you all need to stop.

Firstly it's not a safe practice, the wearing of tight clothing in general is not healthy according to medical research done worldwide it hinders the skin from breathing properly, the fact that the clothing is so snug it puts the penis and testicles in an uncomfortable zone, which has been known to lower a man's sperm count (last I checked this can hampers one's ability to impregnate his spouse (female)).

Furthermore no one wants to see some grown ass (excuse my french) hairy man with a husky voice in no tight pants. There is nothing sexy about it contrary to what some gender benders may think. Now what is even more disturbing over the last two years the trend seems to have caught on in Jamaica especially in the entertainment fraternity (yes the dancer bwoy and di fish dem weh a run the girls dem outta the video light wid oonu bleach out face and shave up eyebrow...oonu nuh mek mi start enuh). Originally the tight fitting clothes and pencil foot jeans were meant for women to show off their physical attributes, but with the advent of time it seems that a lot of men are becoming more metro-sexual (a fancy word for the borderline homosexuals dem) and in touch with their feminine side.

This trends has sparked a new pattern in the way some men have started dressing, now we see them shaving their eyebrows, wearing two earrings, acting effeminate, bleaching their faces and the infamous wearing to the pencil foot jeans, for those that can't acquire a pair they have gone to lengths to stitch the normal leg inwards for a closer fit and so there is now a shortage of women clothing in our local stores (think a lie ask Ce'Cile she did sing bout it).

A recent visit to a party where the fast rising sound system Darkcide International was playing I heard their microphone man (the yute weh do all the talking and hype up the crowd) Stone said something that had me in tears with laughter and I quote, "Level, yuh see oonu bwoy weh a come a party inna oonu tight pants, oonu notice di gyal dem a walk pass oonu, Mi seh dem nuh see oonu."

Now gentlemen there is a reason why women are considered the fairer sex because it is their job to be dainty, look good, act feminine and bring off the man, so stop trying to fill that role and play your part and be a REAL MAN. Not because you have a pair of nuts that does not make you a man. This is the very reason why some of the prettiest women talk to some of the coarsest and scruffiest guys you've ever seen, it's because they are more of a real man than most of you and hence a lot of women are still looking for that attribute in the opposite sex.

Most of us of Jamaican parentage were brought up with good values and attitudes as children and if our folks saw us wearing those tight pants I'm sure they would be so ashamed. So do what is right and stop trying to compete with the women , and for the love of the Saviour leave the tight pants alone it's not meant for you. Continue if you so choose because who can't hear must feel in the words of Bembe selector Jigsy "Di people dem guh kill oonu". Now go and buy yourself a pair of loose fitting jeans and breathe easy.