Mavado

Cherry Flawless in di buildiiiiing! Massive what a gwaan? Mi hope uno week did alright and uno ting well sort out fi a new week begin. Ragashanti, di 'Man a Dust' sermon sell off again. Well, is all about a ting wha name 'nuh lingah' cause a nuff sussment wi haffi get inna.

Gavesha, Mavado & Avah - The saga continues

"Even if mi lef di gully/Don't worry/Don't worry/Gavesha will be dere in a hurry/Don't worry/Don't worry." Hold on, a lie; a nuh so Mavado song go!? But some gal coulddah fool me. Afta mi mek mi talk last week, Gavesha and 'Miss 400th in line to di Matterhorn throne' nuh tek it up pon dem head! But di two a dem a likkle pickney, so mi naw go deal wid dem too rash.

Now Miss Gavesha, it are obvious say yuh insecure and all dese tings, cause mi nuh see why di one likkle question mi ask last week bout you and Avah upset yuh. Smaddy email mi Gavesha big statement to Matterhorn matey gyal; see it yah: "talk dem a talk dats all dem can do. Nuh watch nothing cuz dem can't be u. U no c di new name [Gavesha gully goddess]. It a maddddddd dem! Friday suss ain't got nothing on us!"

She serious? Afta dis gal go roun a mek big speech say she and Mavado engage and him buy house fi har inna Miami, den all go as far as fi post up pictuh wid him and har siddung inna bed and him inna so-so brief? Mavado, Gully Gad, or whatsoever, a yuh same one haffi call and race up di gal say fi tek dung di *la*hmin Fabio pictuh! Den inna di same breath she a call Avah yard inna Canada and a cuss off di girl modda; den mek one fake myspace page, den hire one iron balloon fi mek one song bout di girl. Wha all a dat fah if yuh sooo secure and claim say yuh a Mavado wifey wid di good-up good-up?

Babes don't draw mi tongue; cause no bwoy, no gyal, no day cyaan inna mi league! A come talk bout people a mad fi di gully?! Yuh nuh see Cassava Piece gully full ah pure rusty, dutty fridge, maggot dawg and mash-up toilet bowl? Di gyal wouldn't even war ova di cleaner part of di gully whe Merl Grove deh! Galang! Gavesha di 'gully goddess' to di woooorl!

White wine, my girl white wine!

Now Miss Matterhorn, big up yuh matey status! Mi nuh know wha you vex fah, all mi do is talk bout yuh bleaching and tell yuh say yuh fi stop tief di STAR suss. Babes, yuh know say mi wouldn't say nuttin bout yuh colour if yuh did look like 'my dog Spot'? Cause at least mi woulddah see say yuh a mek an effort fi bleach yuh whole body but it just naw work out too good. But yuh wouldn't even drip likkle a di Ambi pon yuh neck. My gawd! Babes, trust mi, if yuh body neva look healthy mi woulddah haffi issue one 'vampire alert' to Crime Stop. So Latoya Jackson, yuh coulddah post more scripture verse pon myspace so till Ian Boyne call yuh fi come pon 'Religious Hardtalk' - Cherry Flawless don't care.

Reneto to di wooorl'

Senior Superintendent Reneto Adams - file photos

Mi cyaan believe say Reneto say him a go retire! Afta all dat we have been through Reneto? After yuh set di trend wid so much tings: change Tivoli to 'Tivaawli', den di Braeton 7, den di nexx country incident, den yuh go back dung a Tivaawli and do pure tings and a say "Jamaica shall pay dearly, dearly for this"? Mi naw tell no lie, when yuh say so mi all dash whe mi table knife, cause mi nuh waah hear say it transform and start leggo some big black rhino bullet and dat a di reason fi a nedder 'incident'. Cause you nuh seem like a man who believe inna jail, if yuh get wha mi a say. Jah know, we a go miss yuh drama still!

Mi waah fi know:

Wha di real story wid di model wha move back a ghetto? Heh hey! Next week fi dat!

What a ting how di New York politician a big freak a run prostitution ring doh eeh?

Mystery P you are a real mystery to me. I want fi know what you be. Is you a he or a she?

Why a nuh Miss Kitty a host di Magnum dancehall show and all dese tings?

Toppa Top People: Massive uno big up unoself! 'Di INK' link (no mi naw talk bout no Ink wha deh promote pageant cause mi nuh know a who all dem deh); Nikki Z; Shorty, you and yuh big ole pink bingo sell off ah Bembe last week! Uno look out fi "Cherry Flawless and di INK Awards" next week.