Dear Counsellor:

I'm a 13-year-old girl and I'm really worried. About six months ago a really cute guy moved into our neighbourhood and we become intimate friends. He is 21 years old. We kiss and hug a lot. Lately he has started pressuring me to have sex with him. I don't want to start having sex yet, but I also don't want to lose him. He told me there are many girls out there who want to have sex with him but he wants to give me everything. What should I do?

Cherry

Dear Cherry:

You should have a serious talk with your boyfriend. Let him know that you are not ready to have sex and he should not pressure you. He should also know that you are under the age of consent. Tell him about the responsibilities that accompany sexual activity such as taking care of a child should you become pregnant, and coping with sexually transmitted infections should you become infected. The longer you remain a virgin, the longer you prevent these things from happening to you. If he continues to pressure you, then you must try to avoid situations in which you are alone with him. Do not worry yourself about losing his friendship. If he is a true friend, he will respect your decision not to start having sex so early. It may become necessary for you to speak with your guidance counsellor. He/she would be able to help you keep focus on your schoolwork.

Dear Counsellor:

My boyfriend's religious beliefs do no allow him to use the condom. Therefore, we have been practising natural birth control and I'm comfortable where pregnancy is concerned, but I'm a bit worried because I know he is a bit on the womanising side. Do you think I'm at risk for AIDS?

Worried Wife

Dear Worried Wife:

Since natural birth control is centred on the female's fertile period and not a barrier method, this form of sexual intercourse allows for an exchange of sexual fluids. Thus it will not prevent the transmission of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. Only abstinence totally protects you against HIV/AIDS, other sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancy. However, when you are sexually active, only a barrier method, that is, the condom, reduces the possibility of contracting HIV and other sexually transmitted infections. What if you suggest using the female condom? Would your boyfriend object to you using it? Talk with your boyfriend about the female condom.

For more information on condom use, HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections call the AIDS/STD Helpline at 967-3830, 967-3764 or write to AIDS Affairs, c/o the Star, 7 North