ANGUISHED Ryan Finkill has paid tribute to his loving wife, who died walking in front of a truck two weeks after having twins, and insisted: She did NOT kill herself.

Ryan is convinced Heathers mind was fogged by postnatal depression, adding: She loved our babies and wanted a family so bad. She would not leave them and me on our own.

The night before her death, painter and decorator Ryan, 38, had persuaded Heather to go with him to see a GP.

But early next morning she slipped out of bed, wearing her pink pyjamas, and walked 400 yards to her death on the M3 near Farnborough, Hants.

Ryan said Heather, 30, had fallen pregnant using a fertility drug after four years of trying.

Sparkling ... Heather

She had a complicated pregnancy and gave birth by caesarean on December 19 at Frimley Park Hospital in Surrey.

She returned home on Boxing Day with daughters Isabelle and Lacey. Ryan said:

She seemed fine for the first few days and appeared to be coping very well. But after a couple of days I noticed a change in her. She started getting obsessed about making things exactly right for the babies and she was struggling to concentrate at times.

Cuddle

On the evening of New Years Day we sat together in the living room but Heather did not seem herself. She was looking straight through me.

I was petrified she was suffering from postnatal depression, but I hadnt brought it up.

Now I told her straight that I thought thats what she had. I said I was going to take her to the doctor the next day and get it sorted out and she seemed to go calm.

It seemed like I was taking a rucksack full of bricks off her back. We even had our first kiss and cuddle since she had given birth.

The couple were staying in separate rooms to try to get some sleep.

At 5am on January 2 Heather roused Ryan and asked him to feed and change the babies.

He did, and afterwards said goodnight to Heather and went back to bed. It was the last time he spoke to her.

At 9am he woke to find her gone. He rang her mobile but she had left it at home.

Panic

He called police then drove around the streets for an hour. Fighting back tears, Ryan said:

I was in a state of panic. Then I drove over a motorway bridge and saw an accident and all the emergency services.

This awful thought came into my head I hope shes not walked on to the motorway.

I got home shortly afterwards and my younger sister Emma came in and said that a girl had been found on the motorway wearing pink pyjamas and had been knocked down.

I just knew it was my Heather.

I screamed my lungs out. At that moment my whole world fell apart.

Heather had died instantly at 7am under the wheels of a truck.

Her mother Brenda Burton, 59, has now retired to help bring up the twins. Ryan said: If it wasnt for people like Brenda indeed all my friends and relatives I dont know what I would do.

They have all been so wonderful for me.

I just cant believe Heather has gone. Every morning I wake up and dread the day to come.

Heather was the light of my life. When they are old enough I will tell the girls she was the most beautiful woman in the world and I will tell them she would have been the best mum in the world.

I will tell them how Heathers eyes used to sparkle.

Walk of death ... flowers on bridge over motorway where she died

Ryan recalled how they had planned a family together straight after their dream Caribbean wedding in St Lucia.

Ryan said: There were problems, but I remember so well the day Heather found out she was finally pregnant.

She sent me out shopping and as I was walking home up the garden path she threw open the windows and shouted, Come upstairs Ive got something to tell you.

We sat on the bed and she then burst into tears of joy and said, Im pregnant.

We were both so excited we used five pregnancy test kits to make sure it was really true.

We were both ecstatic and could not believe we were going to be parents.

She was ready to be the best mum in the world and when we found out it was twins at the 12-week scan we were so overjoyed at having a big family straight away.

He added: I loved her because she gave me so much confidence and she looked after me.

She loved me and she loved her babies.