You know you are on a flight to Jamaica When ...


- You get to the airport before the Air Jamaica counter staff

- Everybody is checking in suitcases the size of a refrigerator

- The person beside you taps you on your shoulder and says "Yuh only have one piece? Beg yu check een dis ya piece ah luggage fah mi nuh. DO!"

- Everybody makes a bolt for the gate when the announcer on the p.a. system starts to say "this is NOT a boarding announcement."

- You can't get on board because somebody in front of you is trying to get a motor vehicle engine block into the overhead compartment

- At least one passenger is accompanied by an armed Federal Agent

- You can only get the Observer to read, no Gleaner roun' here

- People are trying to figure out what "Port of Embarkation" means

- The passenger next to you slowly leans away from you while raising one leg and mutters "Yes bwoy, DAT is gas!"

- Somebody hands a flight attendant a paper bag and asks her to "heat up dis ya patty fi mi nuh baby"

- The plane starts to descend, and a woman in the seat behind you says to her friend ... "Come Darris, time fi go tile-it an' tidy!"

- The overhead compartment smells like fish, jerk chicken and rum ... then something from up there starts to drip on you.

- Most of the passengers clap when the plane lands

- While the plane is still moving and taxi-ing to the terminal, people are unbuckling their seat belts, grabbing their hand luggage and heading towards the plane door

- Everybody who have a big screen TV, a boom-box and a microwave go straight to the "Nothing to Declare" line in Customs.