# Crying is blackmail.
# Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
# Don't cut your hair. Ever.
# Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
# Get rid of your cat.
# Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
# Anything you wear is fine. Really.
# Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
# You have too many shoes.
# If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
# Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up put it down.
# Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
# Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
# Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
# A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
# Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
# Sunday = Sports
# If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
# If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
# Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
# Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
# You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.
# Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
# You have enough clothes.
# Nothing says "I love you" like sex.