GRANDMA IN COURT!! To: undisclosed-recipients *GRANDMA IN COURT* > > Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't > > prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting > > attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the > > stand. > > > > He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" > > > > She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you > > since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment > > to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and > > talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you > > haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than > > a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." > > > > The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across > > the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" > > > > She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a > > youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He > > can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one > > of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife > > with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." > > > > The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to > > approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, > > > > "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you > > to the electric chair."