A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and the talk turns to their adventures. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. "How did you end up with the peg leg?" he asks.

The pirate replies, "I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."

"Wow!" says the seaman. "What about your hook?"

"Well," answers the pirate, "we were taking over a ship when one of them hacked off my hand."

"Incredible!" says the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch?"

"A seagull s**t in my eye," the pirate replies.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the seaman asks.

"Well," says the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook."