At about 3am, i was drunk as a skunk. i came home just in time to hear the
cuckoo clock cuckoo three times. quickly coming up with a plan, i cuckooed nine
more times, hoping my wife would think it was midnight. i was very proud of
myself.
the next day, my wife asked what time i got home, and i replied, "midnight,
just like i said."

she said that was good, and for some reason she said we needed a new cuckoo
clock. when i asked why, she answered, "last night when it cuckooed midnight, it
cuckooed three times, said s**t, cuckooed four more times, farted, cuckooed
three times, cleared its throat, cuckooed two more times and then started
giggling."