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Mom-approved teen sex

Mom-approved teen sex

By DONNA HUSSEY-WHYTE All Woman writer

Monday, June 20, 2011

 

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IN June 2007, a Spanish Town domestic helper admitted to the Spanish Town Resident Magistrate's Court that she had given consent for her 14-year-old daughter to have sexual relations with a 25-year-old man in return for money.

The mother was charged with aiding and abetting the carnal abuse of her daughter, who was eight months pregnant at the time.

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She told the court that she allowed her underage daughter to have sex with the man because she was attending school and there was no money to purchase uniform and books.

"I know that she was having sex, but him come to me and talk to me and I accept his condition to help her. So I say all right, your honour," the woman told the court.

A year earlier, in October 2006, three members of St Catherine family were ordered arrested, as they were accused of aiding and abetting the rape of a 15-year-old relative.

The three -- the girl's father, her mother and sister -- were charged along with two brothers, who faced the court on rape, carnal abuse, indecent assault and assault occasioning bodily harm charges.

The 15-year-old victim, who was nursing a two-year-old baby at the time, was allegedly raped by the men. The allegations were that in March 2003, when the girl was 12 years old, she was sexually assaulted by the brothers, became pregnant and gave birth to a baby girl. She was allegedly sexually assaulted again in August 2006, again by the brothers. According to police, the family had knowledge of both sexual assaults but did not report them.

Many other cases like these don't reach the courtrooms. Reports are rife of mothers who see their underaged daughters as money machines, allowing them to enter sexual relationships with older men in return for money or other support for the family.

Psychologist Dr Leahcim Semaj said there is a culture that supports this action in Jamaica, as there are mothers who, whenever their teenage daughters ask for money, will tell them "you have the same thing I have, so you can go look it too".

"In that mother's world view, she uses her sexuality to advance herself and she sees it as a right of passage," Semaj said. "So that is ultimately what she is socialising her daughter to do. She expects that once the daughter comes of age she should do the same. And if we think about it in a very socio-biological and anthropological context, in many cultures girls are married early, once they pass puberty, once their sexual capacity is established, that is now a commodity that is used to get a husband."

He said there are in fact aspects of the society where young girls are not valued as a result of their educational capacity but instead by their reproductive capacity and their ability to 'catch' older men as a result of their attractiveness.

A recent account by a taxi operator plying the Spanish Town to Cross Roads route led passengers to question the motive of a mother who was said to have allowed her 14-year-old daughter to get involved with another taxi operator.

According to the taxi driver, his colleague would buy food for the household and give the mother money to pay bills while also sending the 14-year-old to school. The situation was brought to light when the girl got pregnant and the police were brought in. He was arrested and charged.

A study done in 2000 by the International Labour Organisation (ILO), highlighted the worst forms of child labour in Jamaica, and also placed focus on children in prostitution.

The study said that parents helped to encourage such behaviour by not questioning where their children got extra money or turned a blind eye to certain warning signals.

"Parents knowingly or unknowingly colluded with these activities when they did not question the source of their children's gifts, clothing and income that they did not provide," the study said. It also denounced the practice in some local communities of mothers supporting their daughter's relationships with older men for material gain.

"In general, girls were required or encouraged to have relationships with older men in exchange for material goods to ensure their 'betterment'. As such, school fees, lunch money and bus fare, school books and supplies as well as graduation-related expenses (hairdo, ring, gown, dress, shoes, etc) emerged as material goods and educational support that were exchanged for sex," the study said.

And Semaj said this kind of behaviour by mothers is not confined to the lower strata of society but is widespread. However, it takes on different forms in the middle and upper stratas.

"There is the concept of a trophy wife. Look how many men who have achieved whether in finance or business or academia or sport, have beauty contestant wives -- the trophy wives. So she is sold to the highest bidder. So on one level she is working for a box food, or a pair of shoes or a dress, on the other level she is working for a house or a car or a ring. Someone had said that all women are prostitutes, the question is what's the price? A box lunch or a Benz? So women in general in many levels of society are socialised that you trade your sexual favours for material return and the ultimate thing is to get a ring."

This, he said is then passed on to the daughters.

"Mothers are the ones who are willing to sanction this or fight against it," he said. "Fathers tend to be either neutral in the matter or protect their daughters..."

And the act is not confined to Jamaica.

In 2008 a United States couple was charged for training a 12-year-old girl as a sexual dominatrix, and forcing her into prostitution.

Todd Barkau and the then 44-year-old mother of the girl, were allegedly running a sex business, the Associated Press reported.

"Barkau obtained control of a 12-year-old girl and he groomed, trained and forced her to become a sexual dominatrix," lawyer John Wood said.

The New York man began training the girl in 2000 and forced her to have sex with him and other men, the indictment said.

The girl was allegedly sold on the Internet as a 19 to 20-year-old dominatrix when she was 14 by Barkau, who started a sex business.

Photographs of the teenager engaging in sexual acts were also circulated online.

The mother of the girl was charged with "encouraging and participating" in the business.

Semaj said the involvement of a parent will have one of two impacts on the child.

"One, there are daughters who accept it. Because your mother is a source of authority and if my mother sanctions this behaviour, if my mother lives this kind of life, if my mother's existence is to take things from men in return for sexual favours then I will accept it. There are mothers who actually teach this by the way they live or by things that they say. But there are other mothers who are adamantly against it. These are the mothers who, the mantra that they share with their daughter is go to school, pass you exams, get a good job so that no man can tek liberty wid you, and the daughter will accept this. So between those two extremes that is where we exist as a society."


Read more: http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Mom-approved-teen-sex_8993324#ixzz1QCqD6R00



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