Exciting sex life is an understatement. Any sexologist will tell you that sharing your deepest, most private fantasies with your partner is a strong sign there is trust and safety in the relationship. Her erotic desires are healthy, empowered and similar fantasies lurk inside the minds of a lot of people. What I read is voyeuristic (watching) and exhibitionist (being watched) fantasies slowly trickling out. Sometimes we test our partners with smaller, less threatening fantasies to gauge their reaction. If they react in a supportive way, the ante goes up with more intense or powerful fantasies.

Threesome rules to follow

It seems like the masturbation and threesome theme is loud and clear. I havent heard evidence that she wants you to be with another man, but for some hetero women that can be a power and control turn on. Are you comfortable with these fantasies becoming a reality? You have to talk with her and find out if she wants to live out these fantasies or keep them for herself. Also, you need to explore what youre comfortable with and define the limits that you can both enjoy, or at least respect the different desires. Lots of guys would be OK with having sex with another woman, but freak out at the idea of their girlfriend having sex with another man. Explore what your levels of comfort are and talk things out. Being open, honest and supportive will hopefully help you challenge any fears of sharing and guide you to new levels of sexual openness and bliss. Sounds like an open-minded keeper to me -- try to manage the judgments and insecurities.

There's a whole lot of information on how to arrange a threesome, but there's very little about what you should do once you're in one.

Threesomes are not like regular sex -- they require both imagination and sensitivity. If you plan on having a threesome, you need to go into the situation with some idea of what you're going to be doing, you need some threesome rules.

Understanding these basic threesome rules will help you avoid some common mistakes that typically prevent you from getting the most out of your ménage à trois. There are various types of threesomes that you can enjoy, but we're betting that you're hoping for the type with two women, one of whom is likely your bisexual or bi-curious girlfriend or wife. What follows are the basic threesome rules on how to handle such a delectable, and potentially sticky, sexual situation.

threesome rule no. 1

Establish the rules

You're going to have sex with two women and all three of you have your own rules and limits, so understanding and respecting one another's comfort levels should be a top priority when you're establishing your threesome rules.

Because your relationship with your woman will likely be affected by this new experience, you need to be absolutely clear on which acts she's comfortable with -- and what to avoid doing -- in advance. She may tell you that she's uncomfortable with the idea of you penetrating another woman or even pleasing another woman orally.

You must respect her limits. Remember that each woman may suddenly feel jealous, so try your best not to shut either woman out and always give more attention to the woman with whom you have a relationship -- this is an extremely important threesome rule.

As well, you may end up feeling jealous if you're not the center of attention. Just keep in mind that the object of the game is to share sex between three people.

Also, remember that although some people try to drink their way to bravery for a threesome, drunken sex usually ends up being bad sex. If you want to have a ****tail or two to loosen up, that's fine, but no more. You want to be at peak performance.

threesome rule no. 2

Be as giving as you can
Although you may be hoping that the two women will give you 100% of their attention, the truth is that they're there to please each other just as much as they're there to please you. You may end up feeling ignored and should do your best to get over it.

The best way to approach this situation, and an important threesome rule to follow, is to forget your feelings for a moment and try to be as generous with your hands and mouth as you can.

Pleasure in one-on-one sex goes back and forth, but in a threesome it's more of a cycle that moves from person to person. So be patient; focus on turning both women on and the attention will come back to you.

Whatever pleasure you get in a threesome is a treat, so instead of expecting anything in particular (like getting oral sex from both women at once), enjoy everything that comes your way.

Keeping your hands moving and knowing when to penetrate are important threesome rules

threesome rule no. 3

Keep yourself busy
When you find that both women are busy pleasuring each other and you have nothing to do, keep yourself busy. Take matters into your own hands and find something to do.

Caress the breasts, thighs or vagina(s) of one or both women, kiss their backs or necks, or give oral sex to one if she's in a position that allows you to (believe us, this will redirect attention toward you in a hurry).

If you decide instead just to pleasure yourself for a little while, don't feel bad; the action will come back to you soon enough.

threesome rule no. 4

Be careful with penetration
Penetration is what novelist Tom Robbins calls "that old show-stopper." It automatically forms a serious bond between you and one woman, leaving the other out. For this reason, penetrate only when you're sure both women are comfortable with it.

Your natural inclination will be to pay close attention to the woman you're having sex with, but you mustn't focus on her entirely. This is about the three of you, so keep that ideal close at hand. Kiss and touch the other woman, look her in the eye, and talk to her if the mood is appropriate.

Be aware that you may feel overwhelmed with pleasure if you're thrusting into one woman and kissing and caressing another, meaning that you might climax more quickly than expected. Take it slowly and pace yourself.

And don't get so excited that you lose track of the women: All three of you should be sexually satisfied and, even if you achieve climax first, you must do everything you can to bring your two partners to orgasm.

threesome rule no. 5

Be safe
Condoms are a necessity, obviously. Semen, vaginal fluid and menstrual *la*hd transmit STDs, so use one specific hand to pleasure one specific woman and use the other hand on the other woman -- and keep it that way. You must never alternate.

Likewise, if you're having intercourse with both women, you must also use a separate condom with each partner. As well, dental dams are a good precaution for oral sex. Lubricate the side that you place against a woman's skin for better sensation.

it's not a relationship

Afterward, lie around with both women in post-coital bliss. However, remember it's not a relationship. This means that the third person likely shouldn't sleep over. It may seem like a great idea in the moment, but prolonging a threesome is a recipe for total disaster.

Be reassuring to your girlfriend or wife. You've had fun, but it's only pleasure and experimentation. Tell her that she turns you on, that seeing her being pleasured by another woman aroused you, and that while you enjoyed yourself, there's no one for you but her. She's your primary concern, so if you let her know it, you may well have more threesome adventures in the future.