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Topic: Flirting vs. True Attraction

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MZ Pretty Devil
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Flirting vs. True Attraction

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Level of attention

Flirtation thats just flirtation will tend to be flippant and fun. Friends who dont harbor a real attraction for one another will play, and then move on to the next thing. They have nothing invested because there are no feelings involved. If a gesture or a touch is prolonged, however, it could mean that shes trying to get your attention to push things farther than the status quo. When flirtation is exaggerated like this, it could also mean shes enjoying it so much that she doesnt want to let you slip away, which is also an indication that theres something else behind it. There is a fine defining line between these two levels of play, and people tend to differ on what they expect of flirtation, but youll likely notice if somebody gives you this extra bit of attention.

Exclusivity

Some women are just flirty. If shes scooting around giving everybody in the vicinity a wink and a nudge, theres likely nothing special in the look she throws your way. In other words, if she uses casual flirting vs. true affection, theres probably nothing more behind it. If, on the other hand, she pays special attention to you, theres a good chance youve been singled out for a reason. If its not in her nature to flirt with just anybody, she may be trying to communicate how she really feels about you. Used this way, flirtation is a way to feel you out before putting herself on the line.

Intensity

The key to friendly flirtation is lightheartedness and subtlety. Two people who flirt often will likely have a rhythm to their interactions; its like a routine. This type of play has underlying and unsaid boundaries that maintain a friendly feel. If her flirting suddenly becomes more intense, however, it could indicate deeper feelings.

Eye contact

Eye language is a very important indicator of the feelings between two individuals; it's a great way to tell the difference between flirting vs. true affection. Think of how you interact with your friends, male or female. Most of the time, eye contact is made during face-to-face conversation, but it is casual and frequently broken over the course of the exchange. If she makes prolonged and sustained eye contact, on the other hand, it could mean that something beyond friendship is afoot. Another indicator is if she mirrors your body language while you talk, extending the sense of closeness you both feel.

These types of actions -- whether theyre performed consciously or not -- could mean that shes trying to catch your eye in a romantic sense. Shes probably hoping youll notice her as something more than a fun friend.

Duration

Flirtation is something thats fun and entertaining, but if it isnt serious, it usually passes with time. Because there are no true feelings wrapped up in the friendly sort of flirting, a love em and leave em rule tends to govern these actions. If, on the other hand, the two of you have been flirting consistently for an extended period of time and its not waning, its possible that there are deeper feelings behind it.

Think back on how your relationship has evolved. Is she still seeking you out after youve moved to new flirting grounds? If so, its likely that shes trying to linger in this type of activity until she can get her real feelings of attraction across. Not only can this indicate existing feelings of interest, but prolonged flirtation with a single person can also lead to them, so tread carefully in both instances.

Intimacy

Flirting involves a broad range of activities, from conversation and mockery to gestures and touch. These actions can either be playful or extend to a more personal level. If flirtation began at -- or has progressed to -- a more intimate level than most friendships, you can take a hint that theres probably more to it.

For instance, conversation between friends can get flirty, but if she tells you personal things or asks you questions that reach a more emotional level, shes probing beyond the scope of friendship, and its likely that shes interested in pursuing a relationship. This is a good test of whether she's flirting vs. true attraction. Likewise, if you go beyond an arm brush to holding hands or hugging, you have reached the next emotional level, which can indicate interest beyond friendship alone.

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