Everyone has a few tricks for beating the bluesthings you do when youre feeling down to try to boost your mood. It turns out, however, that several of the most popular strategies dont actually work very well in the long-term. Beware if you are tempted to try any of the following.
1. Comforting yourself with a treat. Often, the things we choose as treats arent good for us. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt, loss of control, and other negative consequences just deepen the lousiness of the day. So when you find yourself thinking, Ill feel better after I have a few beers a pint of ice cream a cigarette a new pair of jeans ask yourself: Will it really make you feel better? It might make you feel worse. In particular, beware of
2. Letting yourself off the hook. Ive found that I sometimes get a real happiness boost from giving something up, quitting something, or breaking a bad habit. For example, I feel very happy about having given up fake food. When youre feeling down, you might be tempted to let yourself off the hook, to think, Ill allow myself to skip my run today, I need a break. In fact, sticking to a resolution will boost your sense of self-esteem and self-control. So NOT letting yourself off the hook might do more to boost your happiness.
3. Turning off your phone. Studies show that extroverts and introverts alike get a mood boost from connecting with other people. Although it can be tempting to isolate yourself when youre feeling unhappy, youre better off making plans with friends or family.
4. Expressing your negative emotions. Many people believe in the catharsis hypothesis and think that expressing anger is healthy-minded and relieves their feelings. Not so. Studies show that expressing anger only aggravates it; as Plutarch observed, Anger, while in its beginning, often can be ended by silence, or neglect. Ive certainly found this to be true; once I get going, I can whip myself into a fury. Its better to stay calm.
5. Staying in your pajamas all day. One of the most helpful things Ive learned in my happiness research is that although we think that we act because of the way we feel, in fact, we often feel because of the way we act. As improbable as this sounds, it really works. Sometimes it can be fun to hang out in your sweats all day, but if youre feeling lethargic, powerless, or directionless, not getting dressed is going to make you feel worse. Put on your clothesincluding your shoesso you feel prepared for whatever the day might offer. While youre at it, make your bed.
Have you ever tried to cheer yourself up using a strategy that just made you feel worse in the end? What are some more effective ways to beat the blues?
