In response to the current, harsh economic climate squ-eezing the life*lo** out of businesses, local massage parlours have started to offer recession-special packages in an attempt to stay viable and lure new customers.

Since last week, these facilities have published several advertisements in the media promoting their new recession-proof offers. The most notable of such advertisements was one last week that read "Big recession special: 2 girls, 2 services, $1,600".

When THE STAR contacted that establishment, posing as an interested caller, the female on the line explained that the offer was only valid on select weekdays.

recession special

"You naw go get de recession special today, is Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday we offer dat," she explained. "Wid de recession package, yuh get two girls offering you two services for 20 minutes, that only cost $1,600. Plus you get to select the girls that you want."

When asked what type of services the girls would offer or how much it would have normally cost on pre-recession package, the female said the reporter should pay them a visit in person as she had clients to attend to and could no longer keep them waiting. She then hung up.

Another advertised 'business place' had a more customer-friendly receptionist. The sexual recession special packages here were available every day except on Sundays.

"Yes baby, yuh can get the special fi $1,500, sex and other sexual acts," the mature sounding woman said. "It last half an hour and yuh can get it anytime except on Sundays. I don't work on that day."

economic hardships

The woman further explained that the offer was quite reasonable in these times as those services would normally attract a cost close to $3,000. However, since the recent economic hardships, the new package was tailored to still make the pleasure she offered affordable. And, the response to the new deal is overwhelming, she claimed.

The woman reassured the caller that he would be well taken care of as "the rush gone from inna de morning" and she would be all his should he come by shortly.

Phone calls to the other establishments offering recession specials were not answered.