Smart man + Smart woman = romance

Dumb man + Smart woman = marriage

Smart man + Dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + Dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $ 20.00 for a $10.00 item that he needs

A woman will pay $ 10.00 for a $20.00 item that she doesn't need

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A  woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man i sone who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him alot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her alot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are alot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he wil lchange, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she never change but she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any arguement.

Anything a man says after is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'you're next.' They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals