Q: Whats the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?
A: Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup.

Q: Why dont aliens eat clowns?
A: Because they taste funny.

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: A fsh.

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
A: el-if-i-no.

Q: There are 2 cowboys in the kitchen. Which one is the real cowboy?
A: The one on the range.

Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Right where you left it.

Q. Whats pink and fluffy?
A. Pink fluff.

Q. Whats blue and fluffy?
A. Pink fluff holding its breath.

A Horse goes into a bar and the bartender says Hey buddy, Why the Long Face

Two muffins in the microwave, one of them says: Man its hot in here!
The other muffin exclaims, Holy shit, a talking muffin!