Dear Pastor,

I have a situation that I need your advice on. Eight months ago, I met a wonderful young lady on the Internet. She lives in Jamaica and I live in the States. The problem is after meeting online we exchanged numbers, and have been communicating via emails and over the telephone.

The thing is this, a few months later, I agreed that I would care for her monthly, by sending her money every month, because things were a bit hard for her in Jamaica. After I started sending her money, things changed with our regular phone conversations that we would have at nights, because I work from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. I even went out and bought a cellphone, for her to reach me. She also would call me at work, but because of the nature of my job, she stopped.

So frustrating

What disturbs me the most is that she accuses me of cheating on her. If she calls and I don't pick up the home phone or my cell, I am out cheating on her. This is so frustrating to know that I work very hard and long hours; sometime seven days a week and she is accusing me of cheating. I had made plans to visit her in Jamaica, but I changed my mind because I think I am being used. A month later I stopped sending her money. Now I am getting text messages from her calling me all kinds of names. I don't know if it's because I stopped sending her money or what. She calls me a homosexual, because someone sent her an email saying I am one.

The annoying thing about this is I am so in love with this young lady to the point that it is affecting my job and my health. She walked into my life in such an instant and has established herself in every aspect of my life. Meeting her online was one of the sweetest things one can ever ask for. For me it's a matter that needs a solution and my only conclusion is to leave my heart in the hands of time. For years I have used work to build a wall around my heart. How did she get into it, pastor? Only God knows.

Pastor, I need your advice.

P.D., New York, USA

Dear P.D.,

Lots of couples meet online, but so often people don't speak the truth about themselves. Many young women search the web seeking men who would be friendly with them and send them money.

It is not unusual for women to have their boyfriends in Jamaica and collecting money from other men in North America and other places. And whenever these men come to Jamaica, the women lie by telling their boyfriends that they have to go to see their parents. Then they turn off their cellphones and their boyfriends cannot reach them until the guys they met online leave the island.

I am sorry you wasted your money on this woman. I hope you will learn from your mistake.

Pastor