Your honour, I am 75 years old. So here I am, sitting there on my porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sits beside me.

He starts to rub my thigh, and it feels good, Your Honour.

So I don't stop him, and he begins to rub my old breasts, Your Honour.

Why, Your Honour, I haven't felt that good in years! So I just spread my old legs and say to him,

"Take me, young man, Take me!"

That's when he yelled, "April Fool"

and that's when I shot the f**king Son of a Bitch!!