Dear Pastor,

I have been married to a woman for nine years and it has been a bitter pill for me. I had known her for four years before we got married and all this was her idea. I am now in my mid 30s and she is in her late 20s. For sometime now she fas wanted to dominate me in such a way that I felt bad. If I am to take a flight she objects and stuff like that. She is a controlling woman. I hate that because it was not how she was.

We have a child together and built a home together and we were in love but over the years things have got so bad that even when I have compromised she goes away and treats me badly.

Pastor, she has stopped washing my clothes, cooking my meals, and all that, it really bothers me a lot. I am taking care of all the bills and food and she saves her money and disrespects me in front of our daughter. We were Christians before we got married, but she walked away from the church and is now living a promiscuous life. She always boasts about her sexual lifestyle outside the marriage, and has men calling the house all times of night.

My pastor called her but she did not show up. I am tired of it now and I really need a divorce. She has bought some stuff and is willing to move out and I will help her out because it's unbearable for me. I need a life now with a strong woman of God. It's making me feel sad all the time. I work too hard. She had two abortions behind my back and has boasted about it. I think she is mad. Once, she tried to set the house on fire.

We went to counselling and she said she wanted a divorce and then she said 'no' to it, so I am in limbo. I need to get on with my life. Because of how she treats me, I refuse to give her money or anything. Now, I just spend it on my daughter. As for sex, that's out of the picture. I don't even have any 'nature' for her again.

Pastor, I need your help and all the Christians out there to pray for me. She has even burnt me up with boiling water when I spoke to her about her infidelity and I had reported her to the police. Tell me what else to do.

G.T., St Catherine, Jamaica