Jamaica Hurricane Relief Letter

DEAR FAMILY & FRIENDS

As yu all know hurricane Dean hit wi ard ... wi a suffer dung ya an wi need likkle elp.
Mi tank God say mi is alive to rite dis....

Remember say Western Union, Jamaica National an di banks back in a business ... so send likkle money to elp mi out.

Mi a mek list fi likkle tings mi need inna di barrels mi ope yu a go seng dung ya ...
Tings bad,bad !!

Si our emergency hurricane relief supply list here:

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a .. One flat screen tv - no less than 32"

b .. One portable DVD player - without the electricity boredom would a kill me

c .. DVDs of course ow else mi a go play di music an dance fi figit mi crosses

d .. One MP3 player with FM stereo pon it - di ipod wah unno send ongly play music mi couldn't get fi hear who and who dead, wah kill dem, weh dem a loot and if mi did haffi go back a wuck inna dis ya week.

e .. One Sony digital camera no less than 8 megapixels - cause right now mi coulda enta di Gleaner competition fi de bess hurricane pickcha

f .. One SONY digital video recorder - cause mi sure say TVJ and CVM woulda pay fi me footage of ol' Miss Maud cross de road. She a run dung the road wid two sheet a zinc weh blow offa Barry roof fi give a 92 year old daty she tief bad!

g .. Sen one a de regular ol time plug een phone dem ..cause if mi did have one mi an di liad gyal June coulda labba labba through di whole hurricane all cause Cable and Wireless never bruck dung! The portable ting nah cut it if mi a prepare fi next urricane.

h .. Mi hear sey dem ave flashlight weh you shake up and it light up - send few a dem come - a mi one live ya but you know how it go - mi coulda sell dem and ave nugh money if fancy up mi hair.

i .. By di way one battery operated flat iron set cause a couldn't get fi curl mi weave - good ting me have nuff wig - yu shoulda see mi when mi step out Monday mawning after Dean - still a hot gal!

j .. By de way, tell de ol' worthless Barrington sey dee converter sinting weh him sen last time never wuck. Yu should a see me like eediat inna mi car a try hot lickle water inna mi 'lectric kekkle - so send one good one a dat.

k .. As a matter a fac' mi want the lickle plug in sinting wey yu can drop inn de tea cup and hot the water

l .. Mi want rechargeable batteries - AA, AAA and D

m .. Mi want battery charger fi de battery dem.

n .. Mi need a wireless internet card because me coulda deh pon MSN pon mi laptop

o .. Mi need couple Swifer mops because me hand did a get tired fi squeeze out dem yah when the water blow under me door.

p .. Mi need some a the really big and stylish scented candles - check Pier 1 Imports them always have.

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JUST IN CASE ME HAVE TO GO A SHELTER, wi need these:

a .. One Baby Phat overalls - in case the roof goes - cause yu done know mi haffi look good

b .. One Prada bag - big enough fi hole me dry goods wey mi a carry go shelter

c .. Check if Jimmy Choo mek wata boots too!

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Mi Love unno, yuh hear! Mi know sey unno understand mi eeds cause unno go true Katrina - mi nuh know how unno dweet! But mi know unno understand wah me go through without these relief supplies. Sarry sey me never ask bout ow yu folks doing .. but everything muss betta ove de - for a farin unno live. Tings nuh
haard over dey .. like out yah so me nay even haffi ask.

With Love ... from Precious!

PS. Since me been home fi the few days me realize sey me can't tek the coarse sheet set them. Go up a Macy's ask them fi dem "Hotel Collection" bed linen
pick up few a de Egyptian Cotton one dem fi me. Arright? Tek Care!