'm a young adult with a very serious problem. About four years ago I was molested by my aunt's boyfriend. I was young and when I told my aunt about the incident she was about four months pregnant for him. She sort of believed me, but made no effort to report the matter. My father knew about the incident as he was the first person I contacted. My mother and her sisters later heard about the incident, but no one reported the matter.

I have had to live with these same people for years with them knowing what had taken place. I'm still living in the house, but my aunt left a year after the incident. It's really hard for me as it is causing problems for me and my boyfriend. It's like no matter how hard I try, I keep thinking that all men are the same. I've not seen a psychologist and I don't know if I want to. I'm really private so I don't know what to do.

Pastor, please, I need your fatherly advice on this matter.

K.J., St Catherine Jamaica

Dear K.J.,

You claim that you are a private person, but you knew that what your aunt's boyfriend did to you was wrong and at least you told your father, your aunts and your mother. Unfortunately, they did not seek professional help for you and the incident has affected you.

distrust

You are old enough to know that not every man is a rapist. Nevertheless, the relationship with your boyfriend is not what it ought to be because you consider men to be untrustworthy. You will never be able to relate well with your boyfriend if you do not receive professional help. So, please, stop thinking that you are a private person. You need to talk to a family counsellor or a psychologist as soon as possible. And after you have done some sessions, you need to take your boyfriend to see the psychologist too.

Pastor