Dear RB,
I am 18 years old and I have been in a relationship with a 29-year-old policeman for over a year now. He treats me very well and encourages me a lot. The problem is that I don't think my mother will agree to this relationship because of the age difference. I care about him a lot. What must I do?
- Too young

Dear Too young,
It is very unnerving when a person asks me a question the way you have. You know that what you are doing is unacceptable and you know how people will react and you insist on going forward. Then you ask a third person what you should do!

Well, here goes. You are having an inappropriate sexual relationship with a man who is much older than you are. You know that you should not be in such a relationship, and you have convinced yourself that you are in love. Please get over this and separate yourself from this man. He is not your best choice for a boyfriend. This is clear to you and to him. You know why? Because you have both been keeping this a secret from everyone! If either of you thought that this was OK, you would tell people!
Please, please get out of this before it is too late.

I love my boss
Dear RB,
I'm in love with my boss at work and I don't know how to approach the situation. He's not married or anything (there have been rumours that he likes men, but I don't believe them) but I just don't know where to start with him. I'm his personal assistant so I travel everywhere he goes, and I'm hopelessly in love with him. How do I get him interested without ruining our relationship?
- Potential Mate

Dear Potential Mate,
You have an easy problem. Two things. First, if there are rumours that this guy is gay, then deal with the rumours. Note that if this man is gay and at all inclined to hiding his preferences behind a "marriage", then you want to be as far away from this marriage as is possible. For your own well-being, find out. This can't be too hard. But please do not tell yourself that you, and only you, know the truth. You know that this is not true.

Second, please be reminded that you cannot be having sex with your boss. I do not care how much you think you like him. So, let's say that you find out that the guy is really straight and you still want a relationship with him, then you need to get a new job. It will get extremely messy otherwise. As his assistant, you have a tough enough list of tasks to see to.

Balancing a personal relationship that is invisible to your colleagues and clients is impossible.

Need no-frills advice about relationships, sex or just about anything else? Send questions to RB Samuels c/o all woman, 42 Beechwood Ave Kgn 5; via email to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com or fax 968-2025. We're sorry, but RB cannot provide personal responses.