MARLEYS DON'T LIKE BEENIE?
Mi affi wonder if the Marleys dem no like Beenie Man or something. Last week, dem cut him set short at the Reggae All Stars show in The Bahamas. Him only perform fi about 20 minutes when dem stop the show suddenly, just when the man have the place weak with songs like Roll Deep, Back It Up, Hang Chi Chi Man and Come Again. How dem fi pull the plug pon the King of the Dancehall jus so-so-so? Mi a wonder if is because him tell the press say him have more number one than Bob Marley mek the Marleys dem no like him. Mi neva see Beenie Man pon any of the Marley dem show and him ah the best performer inna Jamaica. People, check the levels deeply.

BABYLON CRACKS DOWN ON WEED IN LONDON
The UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown ah go tighten the law on cannabis. Mi read online say Downing Street mek it clear that the Prime Minister is determined to upgrade cannabis from a class C to a class B substance with a maximum jail sentence of five years for possession. Yu hear dat? Five years fi weed. Although cannabis use remains a criminal offence, police have in practice tended to confiscate the drug and issue a caution rather than prosecute the users. Memba a few years ago, the drug was downgraded from class B to class C by David Blunkett, when he was Home Secretary, in January 2004 in a move to enable police to concentrate on tackling hard drugs such as heroin and cocaine. But that ah go change now.

Inna the UK, drug users and alcoholics can claim incapacity benefits, and now more than 100,000 addicts ah claim a maximum of £87.50 per week, totaling  about £400m a year. Dancehall people, when yu go foreign fi perform, mi a beg yu careful how yu smoke the weed, zeen.

FASHION BREAK DOWN FROM BRITISH LINK UP
Because of the excitement, mi never get fi sort out who was hot and who was whack at the British Link Up two weeks ago, but here goes. Big up Sandy from Jadour in the Pulse complex, yu did look good. But who was the girl in the multi-coloured costume and mask? Mi no know yu name, yu did look good. Bounty from the barber shop at Central Plaza across from Spencer's, him did hot. Macka Diamond, yu wig sell off. Her Royal Fluffiness was all joy and happiness, she dun the whole of her media pay pon da dress de. Speaking of the media, Milk rose to the occasion, mi mud her up last year, but this year, the boustierre (ah so it spell?) short dress ting, all-white, well sort out, and the  24 inch weave down to her butt, mad. Crystal from Washington Gardens did look good, and the girl who did get box up did look hot. Sorry say Lena, never got a chance to unveil THE OUTFIT of the night because she was too busy. Oney British, yu suit hot, Jean Franco , or Paul Gautier, yu hair cut off. Iyana was occurring Elephant Man, yu ting sort out, where yu get that bling vest from? Mi love General B suit, clothes, black vest with white suit, well sort out. Little Miss did hot too, Elder was happening, Toya B, the Proper Ugu, girl did well sort out too. Angel did look good but mi hear say the Uzuri dress was stained, what a shame when she drove specifically to Ochey to get it. Ah so the ting set.

DANGEL SUCCEEDS; WITH SCHOLARSHIP
Mi nuh really like DAngel but me haffi give it up to her, she affi mek it inna life. She can persevere. See it de now, she win two year US$5,000 scholarship fi go the Caribbean Institute of Business. Mi no know if is a public relations ting but all mi know it send the right message to the young people and so we say, bravo DAngel (applause from me) . Unno clap her, too, man. Anyway, the principal for the institute, Dr Patrick Welch, claim say him choose her for the scholarship because of her drive to succeed. Dat one too easy so me nah so nutten.

WILL MAVADO MISS GRAND THEFT AUTO LAUNCH?
Mi a wonder if Mavado ah go miss the Grand Theft Auto 4  launch inna Manhattan in May. He is supposed to perform alongside Busta Rhymes and others. We hope him get back him travel document because thats a good look for dancehall/reggae.


THE PEOPLE WAAN FI KNOW
Why so much police a tief? First dem a fabricate witnesses, den dem a tief cheese, and now dem a scam people of thousands of dollars. How Jamaica so corrupt though God?

How the Christians dem a indulge inna kinky sex? Mi see the STAR story today with the Christian couple who have anal sex, and ah do the asphyxiation ting where him tie a cord round her neck and all these things. All mi know dat dun wid now because she go dead pon him wah day ya. Oh my God! Jehovah guide me.