Two years ago, I decided to live here in Canada. I am a born Jamaican and really like my culture. I have a two-year-daughter who I love dearly. She is smart and full of fun. My child's father and I are still together, but my heart is not where it should be. I am having an affair with a 39-year-old married man. I am 20, and find this man to be real fun.

The only problem is that his wife is my mom's best friend and also my good friend. Pastor, I try sometimes not to see this man, but I just can't. He is everything a woman dreams of having or hoping to have someday. When we have sex, it's amazing. It's as if all of my problems are long forgotten. He said he loves me and I love him too.

Am i a fool?

Pastor, do you think that I am a fool to fall for this man? He has two kids with his wife. You might think that I am crazy, but trust me, I am not. Do you think this man is taking advantage of me and I am too much of a fool to see it? No one suspect us and I am hoping no one does, even though "what in darkness must come into light". I am confused.

Please, tell me what to do. I am scared for my life or should I say a life I don't have. Thank you for every advice you have to give. I am going to college.

B., Canada

Dear B.,

I have deleted two things from your letter so that no one will be able to identify you easily. I believe that you mean well and I believe that you are caught up in a relationship that you never thought would have happened to you. It is not that you are dumb or unintelligent.

It is just that you yielded to the temptation of the flesh. And this man has treated you with respect and has done things with you that you did not experience with your boyfriend.

No further

However, don't let it go further. You are going to get into serious problems if you do. You can ruin his family life and cause his wife and your mother to turn against you. This man can help you by not coming on to you.

Tell him that you are scared to death that the relationship that both of you are having is going to get both of you into trouble, so it should end.

Don't go on any more dates with him and don't encourage him to come to your house to visit you.

Work on the relationship with your child's father. It may not be the best, but even if it means that the both of you should get professional help, do so.

Pastor