I've been an avid reader since the '90s and I am compelled to seek your fatherly advice. Two months ago I met a guy on the internet. We became friends and exchanged numbers. After a month of conversing on the telephone, he revealed to me that he would like to start a relationship with me. That was music to my ears as I wanted the same thing too. Pastor, this man is 23 years my senior. I am 25 and he is 48. I've always been attracted to older men. And before any assumptions are made, I am not seeking monetary/ financial assistance from him or anyone.

I am very complex and go through phases where suicide was often contemplated. I was physically and mentally abused as a child. I have never revealed my past to anyone, but somehow this man got through to me and I confided in him and told him everything. We both ended up in tears.

I've also had to deal with my demons as I was promiscuous. I was too ashamed to tell anyone as I was afraid of being judged. He didn't judge me at all. For that I was relieved. I am ecstatic that the weight that I've been carrying for years has now been lifted off my shoulders. In my subconscious I am very doubtful of our relationship. I have very low self-esteem and he is helping me to regain my confidence. He is a counsellor. He lives in the United Kingdom and I live in the United States. He is planning to visit next month.

Pastor, do you think I should continue this relationship? I need your advice.

N.W., New York, USA

Dear N.W.,

You are facing a long-distance relationship. You have had emotional problems. You have had thoughts of committing suicide. Thank God you have received professional help. But you are still not sure whether the relationship you are developing with this man will work.

He is much older than you and you are living far apart. No one can be sure whether this relationship will work. I suggest that before you think of marrying this man, both of you (and I don't know when that can be done) should go to counselling together and that these sessions should cover the struggles that you have had, including your abuses, etc. You should not be in a hurry to get married because your past life still haunts you.

Pastor