I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere. (George Burns)

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill. (George Burns)

At my age flowers scare me (George Burns)

George Burns

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternatives. (Maurice Chevalier, on 77th birthday)

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I'll tell you: a paternity suit. (George Burns)

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. (Herbert Henry Asquith)

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age. (Lucille Ball)

There are three ages of man - youth, age, and 'you're looking wonderful.' (Francis Spellman)

I don't feel old - I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. (Bob Hope)