Dear Pastor

I've been reading your column since I was 14. I'm having a problem but I decided to write to you as I don't trust anyone in fear of scandal. I started seeing a guy about two years ago and in the first instance everything was great. I lived alone and he used to visit me regularly. We would share everything, but after about a year into the relationship, things took a turn for the worst. In the Christmas, this man borrowed my phone to make a call and he deleted the number. A few days later, a woman called from overseas saying she was his girlfriend. When I asked him about it, he told me not to bother with the lies. Many more calls from different women followed.

Pastor, I am a very educated woman and I know about most things. I had sex with him one night (I always use protection as I don't trust him and I do so in the light) and when he ejaculated, I smelled a very fishy scent and his discharge looked pale. I looked closer and I saw that the condom had burst. I was really fretting so I went to the doctor a week later only to find out I had Trichomonisis and I got treatment. When I told him he needed to go and see the doctor because his discharge didn't look healthy, he started cursing and swearing and wanted to put the blame on me. He has done so many bad things to me. Now I'm migrating and I'm just going to leave and not tell him. I do not care any more.

Please, Pastor, give me your fatherly advice. Thank you.

N.C., St Catherine, Jamaica.

Dear N.C.,

I am glad you went to the doctor for treatment. And I hope that this man would have by now gone to see a doctor too. It would have been better if he had admitted that he had unprotected sex with another woman and asked your forgiveness.

You didn't say what other bad things he has done to you. Nevertheless, if you know that you do not love this man anymore and you cannot trust him, you should end the relationship with him without delay.

Pastor.