You Don't Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One!
You don't even have
to like 'em!

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years
Eve Party. We
turned on a night light, turned the answering machine
on, covered our
pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi.
The taxi arrived
and we opened the front door to leave the house.

The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the
house. We didn't
want the cat shut in the house because she always
tries to eat the bird.

My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to
get the cat. The cat
runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to
know that the
house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to
the taxi driver
that I will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to
say Goodbye to
my mother.' A few minutes later, I get into the cab.
'Sorry I took so
long,' I said, as we drove away, but that stupid b*t*h
was hiding under
the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get
her to come out!
She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck.
Then, I had to wrap
her in a Blanket to keep her from scratching me. But
it worked! I hauled
her fat ass Downstairs and threw her out into the back
yard!'

The cab driver hit a parked car.