>SIPPING VODKA
>
>
>This is too funny - I still have tears in my eyes! Finally, a chain
>letter that I don't mind forwarding.
>It's funny (don't break chain)
>
>A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
>After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
>
>The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous on the
>pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to
>get nervous, I take a sip."
>
>So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the
>sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
>
>He proceeded to talk up a storm.
>
>Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following
>note on the door:
>
>1. Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
>
>2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
>
>3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
>
>4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
>
>5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
>
>6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
>
>7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior
>and the spook.
>
>8. David slew Goliath , he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
>
>9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't
>say he was stoned off his ass.
>
>10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
>
>11. When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this
>and eat it for it is my body".  He did not say " Eat me".
>
>12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry".
>
>13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for
>the grub, Yeah God.
>
>14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST. Peter 's
>not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.