Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem with my child's father. The problem is I was pregnant while I was working at a store. I have had the baby and I have tried looking for another job. While I was working I bought my things such as a bed, three-piece coffee table and things that you know a house needs, but because I became pregnant everything stopped. Anyway, the child is now three-and-a-half years old. Behind my child's father's back, I did a little sales work. I got a job as a security officer. I did not know the man would not call me back. I also did a one-week training course at security school. I sat and reasoned with him and I told him that I cannot sit at home and not work. I am twenty-nine years old.

He questioned why I wanted to go and do cheap store work and he also said he is paying me to look after the child. Every week he gives me only $4,000. To be honest, that cannot do much because I have to contribute to paying bills because I live with my parents. Every week he wants me to come over to his mother's house where he lives with his other child. His mother curses a lot of bad words and has no respect for anyone whatsoever. I do not want my child to grow up in that environment. I talked to him about it and asked him if he is going to stay with his mother all the days of his life.

He is 40-plus years old and he still lives with his mother. I reasoned with him and, to be honest, pastor, there is no future there. Everytime he just comes over and we have sex and he gives me the money. He even threatened me that if I go to work, I should give him the child and go live my life. He threatened to come and take the child away from me. I really need your advice, I feel really worthless at home.

Pastor, I am not a lazy person. I just feel like to hire someone to beat him up or lock him up and then I will go look a job and look after my child. I am fed up and tired. Some of my friends say I should not listen to him and just go and get a job. To be honest, I fear him because I know he will take the child away.

I really need your advice on this one. Right now I am seeking jobs at an agency now. Please, help me. I also want to go back to Church because my son keeps on saying that he wants to go to Church. Thank you, pastor.

PH St Andrew, Jamaica

Dear PH,

Do not allow this man to intimidate you. Work and earn your own money. The $4,000 or $5,000 that he is giving you cannot meet all your bills. I congratulate you because you are an ambitious and hard-working lady and you cannot depend on a man. So whether this man like's it or not, get yourself a job.

Concerning his treat to take away your child, do not be worried about that. If he carries out his threat, go to court and tell the magistrate the truth. Magistrates are not fools and you will receive justice. If you still feel threatened by this man, report him to the police.