In the most recent publication of the Jamaica Teenage Observer, teenage writer Brandon Allwood had to lot to say about the entertainment fraternity flops and mishaps, it seem no one was spared, but surprisingly the former first lady of dancehall D'Angel came out with high marks as constant referrals were made to her as being a better artiste and a real fashionista, Here's his recap of the hits and misses in 2007.
Worst female DJ
Which lady of music would get this dishonour? AND SO! Just kidding, D'Angel could do no musical wrong for us in 2007. However, the annoying Danielle could. and she did, which is why she is, hands down, the worst female DJ of 2007. Talent is a gift she needs to shop for.
Worst male DJ
There's only one word for this - Sadeke. Why do these dancers feel the need do things that they aren't good at? Sadeke, in the words of the better part of dancing dynamos doing music recordings, RDX, "just dance".
Worst female singer
One word. Two syllables. One 'special' sound. Bar-Bee. Jamaica wasn't really receptive to the protégée of Beenie Man (we still haven't decided whether or not that's a good thing). Though we like how she dresses (sometimes), she really should take style (and music video) tips from dancehall lady D'Angel. Bar-Bee, we like you, but you're just not 'blazin'. But, she's not the only female talent that Jamaica really didn't like this year.
Worst male singer
Hands down, it's I-Maroon. Do we need to elaborate? OK, if we must. We didn't like his approach to his career this year... what with him making that annoying song Salt. Your insipiration needs some pepper to spice it up, Ima!
Worst song
Yes, I-Maroon is really salt. His song Mi Salt had us so nauseated, that several focus group members cringed as the first few chords of the song emanated from a committee member's mouth.
Worst video
OK, so we have Mavado's Squeeze Har, and Beenie Man's Back It Up. But we couldn't pick out a definite 'winner'. So, both videos land here, and are officially, the worst videos 2007 had to offer. In May, TEENage said Back It Up "neva reach, it nuh sell off and it nah happ'n", and the sentiments pretty much carried forward through to the end of the year. We can't say much about Mavado's Squeeze Har video except for. porno.
Worst dance move
Richie Stephens is a living musical legend. However, developing a dance move might not have been the best thing he did. The Richie Stephens dance is, at best, a good stretch move... but certainly not a good dance move. And for all the people who are making up stupid dance moves and naming them things like 'New York' and 'LA'. You don't have to let everyone know you've got a US Visa, and no creativity, OK?
Worst attempt at a comeback
Queen Paula, Miss Universe. whatever her name is, whatsoever way she spins it, she still naah happ'n. She's been attempting a comeback for quite some time now, and it's just not happening for her. Maybe, it's because she doesn't have any flow anymore. Whatever name you go by now, find something else to do with your time other than deejaying. It honestly isn't working anymore.
Worst rivalry
Hands down, it has to be the rivalry among Spice, Queen Paula, Danielle. and themselves. The three of them are trying hard to 'draw' out the Downtown Girl in D'Angel, but they just seem like attention-starved children, who are just tired of being ignored by 'mommy'. Spice already has some semblance of a career, but who are Danielle and Queen Paula? Can you say. trying to be somebody off somebody's problems.
Worst party experience
So, a little before summer, we were told that the Jonkunno Lounge at the Hilton Kingston would come alive as the party Unleashed would be taking it over. So we went, and after having to throw our names around, and some assistance from ace selector DJ Smurf, the organisers decided that we would be privileged enough to get in. Well, we're still waiting for the party to start. The party was so lacking, on several occasions, members of our team fell asleep.
Not only wasn't Unleashed actually let loose on patrons, it seemed as if the organisers had caught nothing in the first place. Oh yeah, the Stone Love Anniversary wasn't really what we expected either.
In closing we at 876radio.com know that you may not all agree with the opinion of this young writer so we would like to give you all the opportunity to tell us who you thought excelled (or should we say royally flopped) in the various categories listed above.