have been reading your column and I am hoping that you can help me. I am a 22-year-old woman living in the United Kingdom, but originally I am from U.S.A. My problem is that when I was living in U.S.A. I fell in love with a guy who I believe is my soulmate. Some people might say that we were too young, but we dated for a few months, then unfortunately my family moved to Manchester, United Kingdom. I have been living here for the past eight years. We kept in touch and told each other how much we love each other and that there was no one else.

I returned to U.S.A. last Christmas to visit friends and family. While I was there, we met up a couple of times. When I first laid eyes on him again, I knew that my feelings were the same as the day I met him and we were in love all over again. We slept together the first day and every day after that. After about a week, he told me that he has a girlfriend who was a couple months pregnant. I was upset, but I could not afford to lose him. He told me that he was with her because she was 'breeding'. We spoke about it and decided to work around it 'for now'. She found out that I was in U.S.A. and then searched my ex's phone and started to call me, saying nasty things which I deserved. But I love him and I also don't want to hurt her. He then told me that they are over and that we are together, but she can stay at his house.

After I left U.S.A. we spoke every day and night. Then his babymother found out that I was calling him and started sending me text messages, which turned into some nasty phone calls. I called him and told him to talk with her. This girl started to get really obsessive. She told me that we can share him if I want to. Then I found out that they were back together. I told him that I knew. He tried to call me a few times, but I didn't answer. I eventually decided to return his call. Then she started calling me again, but this time she took his phone from him, so every time I would call him, she would answer.

Help me, pastor. I think what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

C. G., England, United Kingdom


Dear C. G.,

You must help yourself by walking away from this man. He had a good time with you when you met. You slept together for days and it was long after that he told you that his girlfriend was pregnant. I don't know why you are fighting over this man. He is not a man of integrity. What do you hope to gain from this man and the relationship? Why curse his child's mother? If you have any pride at all, you would end the relationship with this man and be at peace with yourself.