Dear Santa, I know yuh must be wondering why I writing yuh on Boxing Day,
> but after opening meh presents yesterday, I just had to write yuh.
> Santa ah was a real good gyul all year rouund, ah lissen to meh muddah when
> she talk to meh, ah help out with house wuk, ah even help de neighbor
> chirren do dey chaws too.
> Ah helped dat old cross Mr.George across the road when the oddah chirren
> just watch him and leave him dey. Santa ah study real hard in school this
> year, so hard that ah come firs in tess.
> Santa when ah write meh Christmas Lis to you, ah aks yuh for a Barbie
> princess doll, ah Barbie kitchen, ah Dora de Explorer computer game and a
> monopoly.
> So Santa.......how the fock after reading mih list you go leave under the
> Christmas tree ah shitty focking light-up Yo-Yo, ah nudder plastic tea-set
> and ah focking no-name dolly that look like she have Polio!
> Santa is like yuh focking blind or yuh cyah read! Every year ah say ah
> would stop believing in yuh big focking fat ass and like ah fool ah does
> always give yuh ah nudder chance but not ah-Focking-gain!
> Yuh Focking fat ass dead with me, yuh hear wha ah say, yuh dead!
> Ah waiting for yuh muddah ass next year, yuh better doh try an squeeze yuh
> big obzockee ass tru mih louvres, because ah go Fock yuh up, it go be me,
> you and a gauva whip.
>
> Juss imagine, yuh give dat lil cokey eye, knock-knee, Sally from across de
> road everyting she aks yuh for, an me, who good whole year yuh gone an shit
> up so?! eh? yuh tink yuh could really do mih dat Santa?!
>
> But is alright! ah go do for yuh! You and them Focking Reindeer! Ah go fix
> allyuh good! Allyuh better tink twice about landing on my house next year,
> especially that Focking Red nose prick Rudolph, ah go stone he! Yuh go have
> to focking walk back to de north pole when ah done with them. And nex year,
> ah waiting patiently for yuh fat Focking ass to come Ho-Ho-Hoing on de
> galvanize.
> Ah go do fuh yuh, ah promise. Watch an see....